Earth Angel
by Chloe Winchester
Summary: Spoilers for 5x16. Castiel faces a challenge that he is nowhere near ready for. Being human. NO SLASH!
1. Livin' on a Prayer

**Earth Angel**

1

**Livin' on a Prayer**

Dean's phone rang at three o'clock in the morning. He groaned, rubbing his eyes and wanting to silence the high pitched noise. His hand clumsily felt for the phone on the nightstand. His fingers wrapped around it as they gained purchase and he squinted at the screen before answering.

"Cas?" He groaned, rubbing his eyes. "Cas, what the hell's wrong with you, do you know what time it is?"

"Y-yes, I am very aware how late the hour is," he said quickly. "But-"

"Cas, whatever it is it can wait 'til tomorrow. We both've had a seriously long day so-"

"Dean, please, listen," Castiel said urgently. "I…I'm not in the best of places right now and-"  
"Alright, we're in room 302, King's Inn in Queens."

"D-Dean, I can't get to you," Dean sat up at the angel's tone. He didn't sound like his usual monotone self. He sounded scared. "I've tried leaving here, but, but I can't. Please, Dean…I don't know what to do."

Dean was already getting dressed and shaking Sam awake. "Alright, Cas, we're comin' to get you, where are you?"

"T-Troy Avenue, in Crown Heights," he said shakily. Dean sighed and shut his eyes. That meant it would be almost two hours before they got there.

"Alright, we'll be there soon. Just stay where you are and…and don't talk to anyone, alright?"

"Okay," Castiel said. "Okay, I will."

"We'll be there soon, Cas, just sit tight." He closed his phone and grabbed his jacket.

"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked.

"I'll explain on the way, right now, we gotta go get Cas."

* * *

Castiel looked around the shady neighborhood, keeping his eyes downcast and away from the people on the street.

A group of young men were standing a few hundred yards away, glancing over at him, whispering to each other.

Castiel had never been this scared. He didn't understand what was going on, or why it was happening. He'd left Sam and Dean broken and angry. He'd spent the last few hours walking around and drinking. When he'd found himself in this neighborhood he had tried to go somewhere in the mountains, somewhere quiet, peaceful. But when he tried, nothing happened. He couldn't go anywhere, which is why he called Dean. Dean could help him, he could find a way to help him.

"Hey!" Castiel looked up. The group he had seen earlier was walking toward him, looking menacing. "What you standin' there for, Mr. Businessman?" Castiel remained silent. Dean said not to say anything.

"You deaf? He's talkin' to you!" They were surrounding him. He backed into the wall behind him, still not saying anything.

The man that had first talked to him got incredibly close to his face.

"How about you just gimme your money?" He said darkly. He didn't have any, but Dean told him not to talk. "You either gimme your money or we gonna take it from ya."

They couldn't hurt him. They weren't strong enough to hurt him. He was wrong.

* * *

Dean parked the Impala on the side of the road, registering the gun in his waistband as he stepped out. Sam followed suit, looking up and down the street for a familiar trench coat.

"Cas!" Dean called, ignoring the looks he got from the people on the street. "God, don't these people have to sleep or somethin'?"

"Not with their jobs," Sam mumbled. "Cas!" They started walking, looking between buildings, just wanting to find their friend.

"Shit," Dean spat, jogging across the street. Sam followed, looking equally as worried.

Castiel was leaning against a brick wall in an alley, his clothes torn and disheveled, blood trickling out of his nose and the corner of his mouth, dark bruises on his cheek, his jaw and his eye.

"Cas, Cas, are you alright?" Dean asked, steadying his head so he looked at him. The angel nodded, staring at the ground. "What happened?" Castiel's eyes met his, sad and confused.

"You said not to talk to anyone," he said quietly. Dean shut his eyes, sighing.

"I'm sorry, Cas," he said. The angel looked away again. "Who did this, huh? Angels, demons?"

"Humans," he said. "Just humans," Sam's eyes grew. "They took my phone."

"It's okay. It's okay, we'll get you another one, alright?" Dean assured.

"I…I'd like to leave this place," he mumbled. Dean and Sam looked at each other briefly.

"Ok, Cas," Sam said. "We're leaving, c'mon." They hauled him up and helped him to the car. Castiel stumbled a few times, worse than he should have. Dean frowned.

"Cas, have you been drinking?" He asked. The angel nodded.

"It dulls this ache in my chest I can't seem to get rid of." His voice was so quiet they could hardly hear him. The brothers looked at each other once more.

They got Castiel into the back seat.

"What the hell's going on?" Sam asked rhetorically.

"I don't know," Dean said, running a hand over his face. "I don't know. But what I do know is that we've got a half-drunk, hopeless, beat up angel in the car that can't do his usual angel thing."

"I'll call Bobby," Sam said. "Maybe he'll know what's goin' on." Dean nodded and got in the car. Sam sighed.

He was the only one left that seemed to have any hope. Castiel's faith in what they were doing had diminished when they told him God wasn't going to help. Dean's had been chipped away slowly, and now there was nothing left. But he couldn't give up.

Sam reached in his pocket, touching the amulet that resided there, frowning.

"Sam," Dean called, rolling down the window. "You checkin' out the scenery? Let's go!"

* * *

I watched the city fly by next to me. My body ached from the beating I had received for reasons I still don't quite understand. I folded my arms over my chest, trying to understand why it hurt so much. I was…scared. I think that's what the emotion is called. I was confused as to what was happening to me. I could not send demons back to Hell. I could not heal those who needed it. And now…now I feared that I was no longer an angel. I could be injured by humans. I felt the chill of the air around me. And the bruises weren't healing. What was happening to me?

Dean parked the car in a motel parking lot before getting out and going into the office to get a room. Sam turned around, looking at me. His expression changed to concerned when he saw my face, no doubt just as puzzled as I was about the abrasions on my face.

"Cas, why aren't you healing?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. Sam pursed his lips, trying to think of an explanation.

Dean opened the door next to me, helping me get out.

The alcohol I had drank earlier had worn off completely.

The pain was there, that awful feeling of abandonment. It was an empty feeling. And it hurt.

It hurt to walk on my own. My ribs throbbed, making my breath hitch in my chest. The short walk from the car to the motel room seemed to take an eternity, though in reality it was only a few minutes.

Dean guided me to sit on one of the beds, going to dig the first aid kit out of his bag.

Sam took out his phone and dialed, most likely calling Bobby.

I felt uncomfortable here. I shrunk into myself, wanting this horrible feeling to stop.

Dean sat back down next to me, a rag in his hand.

"You ever had to patch someone up before?" He asked. I shook my head.

"None that weren't celestial," I said quietly. Dean nodded, his face understanding.

"Alright, hold still." The rag touched my face and I flinched away. I didn't expect it to hurt. "Sorry. It's gonna hurt a little."

I winced again when it touched the scrape on my cheek. Dean apologized when I cringed.

"Are any of your ribs broken?" He asked. I looked him. I didn't know what that was supposed to feel like. "Alright, tell me how bad this hurts on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst, ok?" I nodded again.

He pressed his hand into my side, taking me by surprise.

"Ah!" I pulled away reflexively. "S-seven." Dean nodded and pushed again, feeling for something. I shut my eyes and bit my lip, hissing in pain.

"Alright, they aren't broken," he said, more to himself than me I think.

"Okay, thanks Bobby," Sam said, closing his phone. He looked at his brother, gesturing for him to come over.

"I'll be right back, Cas," he said, standing.

I sat alone, watching them talk and wondering what this grumbling in my stomach was.

* * *

"What'd Bobby say?" Dean asked quietly. Sam shook his head, sighing.

"There's only one explanation that he could come up with," he admitted. He looked at Castiel, who looked lost and alone. "He thinks he's human."

--Tell me what ya think! :) --


	2. Oh, the Humanity!

2

**Oh, the Humanity!**

"You're kidding, right?" Dean whispered. Sam shook his head. "He can't be human, Sam, he's a freakin' angel!"

"Look, Dean, I can't explain it. All I know is what Bobby told me. And look at him," Dean glanced over at the battered man behind him. "A couple of regular guys did that to him. A few days ago they would've broken their hands trying to hit him. Something's made him this weak and vulnerable. Something made him human." Dean shook his head, running a hand over her face.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked. Sam sighed, looking over his shoulder at Castiel, who was staring at the floor, looking scared.

"I don't know. Maybe we should tell him what's going on."

"Maybe we should tell him once we're sure," Dean retaliated. "We tell him now and it'll scare the ever lovin' crap out of him. He won't know what to do. He doesn't know how to be human."

"Dean, what is he gonna do when he feels something he's never felt before? That's gonna scare him a helluva lot more than if we tell him flat out."

"I can hear you."

The brother's turned, guilty looks on their faces.

"You think I am…am…human?" Dean had seen Castiel's face show a few emotions. Confused, angry, slightly happy, and more recently, betrayed and hurt. This was new.

His eyes were wide, innocent, and so very scared. "What are we going to do?" His hands were shaking.

"Uh," Sam glanced at Dean, who gave a "hell if I know" shrug. "We'll, uh, we'll figure this out, okay? It'll be okay." There was a low growl that came from Castiel's stomach. He looked down, eyes wide.

"What was that?" He asked worried.

"You're hungry," Sam said gently. "I'll go grab some food."

Dean handed him the car keys and he was off.

Castiel continued to stare at his hands. Dean pursed his lips, frowning.

"Are you okay?"

"No, Dean," he said quietly. "I am not 'okay'. I'm as far away from okay as you could possibly be. Dean sat down next to him, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Ya know, bein' human isn't that bad," he said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Not the way you make it sound," Castiel said bluntly. "'Sorry ass sons-a-bitches', right?" He looked at him expectantly. Dean was taken aback for a moment, trying not to laugh.

"Uh," he chuckled lightly. "Well, yeah, but…there's good stuff about being human too."

"Like what?" He asked, looking skeptical.

"Um…well…" He thought for a moment. "Love's good. Beer's really good. Sex is great. And free will has to be a plus, right?"

"What about hate?" Castiel whispered. "Murder, rape, anger, war disease and the urge to slaughter each other? Drugs, poverty, hunger corruption, tyranny. Aren't those products of humans as well?" Dean chuckled ruefully, looking at his hands for a moment.

"Cas, I understand how you feel, but-"

"How could you possibly?" He breathed, tears in his eyes as he looked at him angrily. "How could you even come close to understanding how I feel? I don't know how to be human, Dean. I don't know how to act, or how to do the things you do. I don't understand why you insist on hurting each other. I…I just don't understand, Dean. How can I be human if..?" He bowed his head, shaking it.

"Cas," Dean said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Cas, what happened to Jimmy?" Castiel flinched as if he had been struck. The sadness and confusion deepened in his face. His clasped hands clenched tighter, turning his knuckles white.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "I used to be able to sense his presence, but now…he's gone, Dean." The former angel's voice was shaking horribly. He was so lost and confused, and terrified.

"Let's just try and get through tonight, okay?" Dean said, squeezing his shoulder lightly. He nodded slowly. His stomach rumbled again.

"I wish that noise would stop," he grumped, placing a hand on the growling area. Dean chuckled lightly.

"It'll stop when Sam gets here with the food, okay?" He assured.

"Dean," Castiel whispered. "Dean, I…I'm scared."

"It'll be alright," Dean assured. "We'll figure this out, alright?" There was a low rumbling outside as the Impala pulled into a spot in front of the room. "Right now, let's eat."

* * *

Castiel was staring at the floor, no longer hungry. Instead a new discomfort had surfaced in his lower stomach, making him squirm lightly.

Sam and Dean were talking in hushed tones on the other side of the room, the noise of the T.V. drowning out their voices.

"When's Bobby supposed to get here?" Dean asked.

"He won't be here until morning," Sam sighed. Dean pursed his lips, finishing the beer that was in front of him.

"What are we gonna do?" He asked. "I mean, what the hell are we supposed to do with someone that never sleeps, hardly ever eats and doesn't know the first thing about human, well, anything?"

"Take everything really slow," Sam said. "I mean, we have to help him understand everything. We can't just let him guess."

"I know that," Dean snapped. "Jeeze, Sam, I'm not totally heartless."

Sam looked at Castiel and a slow smile crept across his face.

"Good, then you can tell him what's wrong with him right now." Dean turned and saw Castiel's frown and his uncomfortable squirming. He looked at Sam, eyes wide, shaking his head.

"Oh hell no. There is no way I'm doin' that," he said firmly.

"Well there is an alternative," Sam smirked. Dean grimaced.

"Aw, man, do I have to?" He whined.

"Sam, Dean," Castiel grunted. "I think something's wrong." Dean sighed and shook his head.

"No, Cas," he sighed. "Nothing's wrong. You gotta piss."

* * *

I didn't really care for going to the bathroom. It wasn't the most comfortable of tasks. My eyes felt heavy, my body weary. I didn't understand why. I didn't know how to make the feeling go away. I let my eyes close for a moment, but my head lolled forward and startled me.

"Cas, are you alright?" Dean asked. I shook my head. I opened my mouth to speak, but, against my own will, I inhaled and exhaled, a long process that I couldn't stop once I started.

"What was that?!" I exclaimed, heart beating a little faster. Dean chuckled.

"Calm down, dude, it's a yawn," he assured. "It's normal."

"Why did I do that?" I asked, wanting to know immediately why this was happening to me.

"Because you're tired," Dean explained. "You need to sleep."

I looked at him, confused. He smiled sympathetically. "Well, first of all you're not gonna be comfortable in that," I looked down at my clothes. Dean handed me a small pile of clothes. "Go change in the bathroom, okay?" I nodded and stood, trying to stop my hands from shaking. I'm so scared. I have been since I understood my inability to transport myself where needed.

I went into the bathroom, frowning at the clothes. I'd never changed out of them. I wasn't all that sure what I was doing.

I shrugged off the trench coat on my shoulders, already feeling strange. I took a breath and continued taking off the clothes.

It took me a moment to realize that the sweat pants would go on much easier if I took my shoes off. I had to admit, those and the cotton gray shirt was much more comfortable than the suit.

I came out of the bathroom, feeling very, very strange and somehow out of place. I sat down on the bed I had been on, holding myself close together.

"You need to get to sleep, Cas," Dean said. I shook my head.

"I don't know how," I mumbled.

"Just lie down and shut your eyes," he goaded. "It'll happen soon, okay?"

I did as Dean asked. I mimicked what I had seen other humans on TV do. I put my head on the pillow and draped the blankets over me. I shut my eyes, just as Dean had told me.

"It'll be alright, Cas," Dean assured behind me. "Just shut your eyes."

I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. But at some point in the night, my eyes didn't open and I slipped into oblivion.

--Thank you!--


	3. Hum Hallelujah

3

**Hum Hallelujah**

It was so beautiful. The sun was warm on my face, the breeze around me cool and light. The sky was clear, the mountains surrounding me magnificent. No troubles had followed me here. No fears. Not angles, not demons, not my father and not my pain. For once, I was at peace.

I looked at the two men at my side. My friends. The only people left in this world that I could trust. Sam and Dean.

I let myself smile. I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath, listening to birds sing. It was all so perfect, until I opened my eyes.

The scenery around me had changed completely. The trees were jagged and bare. The sky was pitch black, set ablaze by lightning, the air whistling with freezing winds and booming with thunder, rain coming down in torrents, soaking me to my bones. The mountains closed in around me, fire behind them.

I looked around for my friends, knowing they would help me-

They were gone. I was totally alone.

"SAM?!" I bellowed, my voice echoing in this empty place. "DEAN?!" No answer.

"You won't win, Castiel." I looked up at the hellacious sky. It was my brother's voice, but not his face. It was Sam's. "It's inevitable. You will lose."

"And there is nothing you can do about it." Michael's voice, Dean's face.

"No," I breathed, shaking my head.

The two brothers turned to each other, lips pulled back in snarls. Sam's eyes were red and fiery, casting an eerie glow throughout the valley. Michael's reciprocated with white. They reared back, fists raised.

"NO!" When their fists collided thunder that made my ears bleed shook everything around me, making the ground crack, the fires of hell shooting up. I saw the white lights of Heaven from above, the angels wanting blood. And here I was, caught in the middle.

The storm turned meaner, louder, stronger. The rain changed. It was thick and warm and made it hard to see around me as it came down in buckets. I looked down at my drenched hands. It was blood.

I watched my brothers fight with my friends' faces, destroying the Earth in the process as the blood rose higher and higher.

"_DON'T! STOP IT! PLEASE! PLEASE, STOP THIS!_" I was so scared and so utterly devastated that I had failed my friends. It hurt.

"_Cas! Cas wake up!"_ I knew that voice.

My eyes flew open and I sat up, gasping and shaking, confused. I looked around at the motel room, wondering where the horrible scene I had been watching had gone.

"Wh-what happened? I w-was somewhere else. I do-don't-"

"Hey, it's okay, Cas," Dean assured, putting his hand on my shoulder. "It's alright. You were dreaming. It was just a nightmare." I looked at him, my mind remembering his eyes glowing white.

"I-it wasn't r-real?" I asked. It had all seemed so real. I still had that chill from the wind and rain, then I saw that my shirt was soaked in cold sweat.

"No, Cas," Dean said. "It wasn't real. You're alright, just go back to sleep." My heart beat a little faster as I shook my head.

"I don't want to," I said, my voice shaking beyond my control. "N-not if that's what happens when you sleep." Dean shook his head.

"It doesn't happen every time," he assured. "You'll be okay. It won't happen again."

"Do you swear it?" He looked away from me, not meeting my eyes.

"Just…just go back to sleep, Cas," he said gently. I didn't want to. I really didn't want to. What if I went back to that place? But I lied down anyway. I heard Dean go back to the couch he had been sleeping on. Soon the only sounds that reached my ears was Sam and Dean's slow, steady breathing.

I fought against the weight on my eyes for as long as I could. I didn't want to go back there, I didn't want to. I just wanted to rest.

I gave in eventually, too tired to fight anymore. I didn't go back to the place that I had been. I went somewhere worse. And when Sam woke me up about an hour before dawn, I didn't go back to sleep again.

* * *

"I think you're right, Bobby," Dean said. "I think he's human. I don't know how the hell he got that way, but he's human."

"I'm workin' on a reason," Bobby said. "But there's not exactly a lot out there that talks about angels randomly losing their mojo."

"Well, what the hell should we do?" Sam asked. Bobby looked up at the two boys.

"You two are gonna keep an eye on him. The last thing we need is for him to get lost or somethin'. And try and explain some things to him. Bein' human's hard enough for those of us that were born into it, let alone transfers."

"What're you gonna do?" Dean asked.

"I'm gonna go see if I can figure any of this mess out." He looked around Sam's hip into the motel window, looking at the lost soul sitting on the bed, staring at his hands, clad in his usual garb once more. "So how's he doin?"

"Bad," Sam exhaled. "He has no idea what to do. He doesn't know how to be human."

"In other words, he's scared shitless," Dean smirked ruefully.

"Well, do what you can for him," Bobby said, wheeling toward his can. "I'll be back later. And I'll call ya if I find anything." The brothers nodded and went back into the motel.

Castiel looked up at them. "What did Bobby say?" He asked quietly. Sam and Dean exchanged glances.

"He's about as lost as we are," Dean said bluntly. Sam glared at him. Dean half-shrugged.

"He's going to find a way to help you, Cas," Sam said gently. He nodded slowly. He jumped when his stomach growled, looking annoyed when it stopped.

Dean laughed. "C'mon, Cas, let's go eat. I'll buy ya a drink."

* * *

Castiel knocked his fourth shot back, not fully understanding why he was a little dizzy. Dean took a swig of the beer in his hand, watching the former angel in amusement.

"How ya feelin', Cas?" He asked, smiling. Castiel gave him a thumbs up and downed another shot. Sam shook his head, frowning at his brother.

"I still can't believe you're letting him do this," he griped. Castiel turned to him, a heavy, swaying motion and pointed at him.

"Do, do not blame your brother for my inebriated state," he said, slurring slightly. "I am fully a, aware of my actions." He swung back around and downed another shot.

"What's with the drinking binge, Cas?" Dean asked. "I mean, I like whiskey as much as the next guy, but…"

"I didn't plan on drinking this much," Castiel said, shaking his head slowly. "Then I noticed that it helped considerably."

"Helped with what?" Sam inquired. Castiel swallowed a mouthful of the amber liquid and grimaced.

"This, this horrible ache in my chest. It made me feel…hollow. This helps, quite a bit actually."

"Cas, you shouldn't-"

"Don't tell me what to do, Goliath," he snapped, then smiled as Dean laughed at his joke. Sam made the proverbial "Bitch Face" and shook his head.

"You know what, Dean?" Castiel said. "There's a lot about you silly humans I do not understand," He looked around the bar. "I mean look at all of this!" He threw his arms out.

"What don't you get, Cas?" Dean asked.

"Well, take those two over there trying to eat each other," he gestured to a couple making out in a booth. "I don't understand that. And those men playing the card game. That one is obviously better than he's letting the others know. And that one has three aces in his sleeve. Why would he do something like that? Lying never resulted in anything good…at all. Trust me, I've been around a few millennia."

"It's…it's hard to explain, Cas. We just, we have it in us to do bad things. But some of us try and do good. Others can't fight it or don't want to."

"I still don't get it," Castiel said, shaking his head. "I also don't understand why I can't see straight. Sam and Dean looked at each other and sighed. Dean tossed a few bills on the counter and slung Castiel's arm over his shoulder.

"You're officially grounded from liquor, okay?" Dean grunted, steering Castiel toward the door with difficulty as he swayed.

Sam pushed the door open to let them through and smiled curtly at the people that were staring after them.

Dean tugged Castiel toward the Impala when the former angel slipped away from him. Castiel stumbled, trying to gain his balance, and fell. Right into the chest of a woman. Her hair was a strawberry blonde and pulled back in a ponytail, eyes hazel in color, v-neck shirt bubblegum pink.

"Oh!" She exclaimed as he fell into her. She caught his shoulders, supporting his weight. "Easy there, big guy." She looked down at him, smiling, as if this happened to her a lot.

Castiel stared at her, lips parted slightly, eyes wide. Her grin broadened, her nose wrinkling. Castiel's heart beat a little faster for reasons unknown.

"You have really pretty eyes, you know that?" She said. Castiel swallowed hard. "What's your name?" He couldn't answer. For some very strange reason his throat wouldn't make any noise. She giggled. "You that drunk?"

"No, sweetheart, he's not that drunk," Dean said, grinning from ear to ear. "His name's Castiel." She turned her attention back to the wide blue eyes, still smiling,

"Castiel," she said. Castiel's heart fluttered again. "That's a funny kind of name. I'm Annabelle," He still could not speak to her. She giggled again. "Well, I gotta work, blue eyes. I'll see you around." She helped steady him into a standing position, waiting for Dean to duck under his arm and support him again. Castiel's eyes followed her as she walked into the bar, heart skipping yet another beat when she turned back and winked at him.

"Dean, I don't know why, but I want to come back here tomorrow."

"Soon as you get over your hangover, dude," Dean said, chuckling and getting him into the car.

"My what?" Castiel asked. Dean shook his head.

"You'll find out."

--Whoo, busy chapter. More soon!!--


	4. Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

--To those who reviewed and didnt receive a reply, I am so very sorry. I had a very, very hectic week and am just now able to have the time to post this chapter, so Im also sorry it took so long. I thank everyone that reviewed and assure you that your reviews will be answered forth with. Once again, thank you all so much--

4

**Heaven Isn't Too Far Away**

The room was spinning, making an unpleasant sensation in my stomach. That organ was really starting to get on my nerves. There seemed to be a hammer inside my skull, banging on my temples as if it were church bells.

"Dean?" I said, an unpleasant taste in my mouth. "Dean, what's wrong with me?" Dean looked at me and laughed, smirking in an "I know something you don't know" fashion.

"You're hung over, Cas," he said, turning on the coffee maker. "It'll pass in a few hours."

"Hours?" A horrible smell filled the room, the odor so pungent it burned my nostrils. My stomach flipped again and my head gave a nasty throb. "What is that?" I groaned.

"Coffee," Dean said. "It'll help."

I didn't see how anything that smelled this horrible could help.

Sam opened the door, carrying food that smelled sickening. I winced against the harsh light that followed him through the open door and grunted in pain as my temples screamed at me.

"Here," Dean said, holding a mug out to me. I grimaced and jerked away as that terrible smell filled every inch of my head.

"No…" I moaned, jerking away from the cup. Then something strange happened. My stomach gurgled and flipped several times, the room taking another lap in front of my eyes. An awful burning substance worked its way up my throat. "Dean, I'm-" But he was already hauling me up and running toward the bathroom. I was dropped to my knees in front of the toilet before something horrific happened.

Then a lot of things happened at once. My entire abdomen contracted against my will, the bile came up further, my head gave a nasty throb, my vision went blank, the room spun and the horrible liquid spilled past my lips.

Nearly every muscle in my body tensed. My stomach flipped and rolled as if part of a circus act. I breathed raggedly between gags, tears in my eyes, heart pounding. I was so scared.

"Dean!" I croaked, throat on fire. "Dean what's happening t-to me?" I did it again. It hurt. "PLEASE!"

* * *

"Cas, Cas, it's alright!" Dean exclaimed. Castiel was sobbing between stomach heaves, body shaking. He was terrified. "Cas, it's okay. You're okay," he assured, rubbing his back. "Just let it out. Let it out, let it out. It's okay."

"No, no, I don't want-" He wretched into the toilet, coughing and gasping.

"D-Dean, make it s-stop." He was begging.

"Cas, it's alright, relax, shh…"

"N-no more. No more, p-please," he pleaded. He shook his head, his stomach still heaving even though there was nothing left.

"Cas, it's okay. This is normal, it's normal. It's called throwing up. It's because you drank so much, it's alright."

He looked over his shoulder at Sam -who was equally as shocked- for some kind of help. But he was as helpless as he was. What they had thought was going to be a normal, even mildly amusing, situation had turned to this. This horrible event of a person so naïve to human behavior he'd never been blessed with puking before.

"Cas, hey," Dean soothed, a hand on his shaking shoulder. "It's alright. It's gonna be alright. You just have to let it happen. It'll be worse and take longer if you fight it, alright?"

Finally he stopped. His body relaxed and he fell back into Dean's arms, gasping and sobbing. "Wh-what did I just do?" He trembled.

"You puked," Dean said gently, breathing hard. "It's okay."

"I d-don't understand," he said quietly.

"Cas," Sam stepped forward. "Your body was trying to get rid of the alcohol you drank last night. That's the only way it can. It's alright. You're gonna be fine."

It took about fifteen minutes for the former angel to stop shaking, and another five to stand up. He sat down on the bed he had passed out on the night before, paled with a sheen of sweat on his face, looking exhausted.

"You okay?" Dean asked. Castiel looked at him as if he were getting over a scare.

"I don't know," he answered stoically before smiling ruefully. "I guess that's my problem, isn't it? I don't know." His smile turned into a low chuckle that continued while he spoke. "Am, am I laughing?"

"Yeah," Dean smiled, relieved that the tension had been lessened in the room. "I think you are."

"No wonder humans do it so much. It feels good," he giggled.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and shrugged, smiling with him.

"Hey guys?" Castiel said, still giggling like mad. "Can, can we go back to that bar today?" He sounded like a little kid wanting to go to the park.

"I don't think you should drink anymore, Cas," Sam frowned, lips pursed.

"I don't want to drink," he just couldn't stop laughing, "I want to see if that girl we saw yesterday is there. I have no idea why, but I want to see her."

"Alright, Cas," Dean grinned. "We'll go. But only if you eat your vegetables," he chuckled. The prior celestial being cocked his head to the side, frowning at the reference that he didn't get. Dean's smile faded. "Never mind."

* * *

I wanted something to do. No, I _needed_ something to do. I sat there, bouncing my leg while Sam and Dean did monotonous research about what could've caused my sudden brink of humanity. I twiddled my thumbs, hummed a song I only knew the chorus to. And I didn't even know all of the words. I hadn't listened to music in some time.

I blew air through my lips, making a strange noise. I did it again, and again. A few times.

Sam sighed and shut the book he was holding rather hard, glaring at me, then at Dean, who barely stifled a laugh.

"Did I do something to upset you?" I asked, brows raising. Dean laughed again. Sam sighed and picked up another book. I looked back at my hands.

"Cas, are you bored?" Dean asked, looking amused.

"Am I what?"

"Uh, you want something to do and you think you'll lose your mind if you don't do _something_?"

I nodded. "Yes. Very much so." Dean sat up, shutting the laptop and tossing the books aside.

"Then I think it's time for a dinner break," he hit Sam's boot with his own, knocking them off of the coffee table. "C'mon, Sammy."

* * *

I didn't know where we were going. But when we pulled in the parking lot of the bar we'd gone to yesterday my heart beat a little faster and some weird sensation appeared in my stomach. I hated that organ.

Both feelings intensified the closer we got to the bar. And when we were inside I thought my chest would burst. What was happening to me?!

"Dean, I feel strange," I said quietly in his ear as he walked in front of me. Dean smiled at me.

"It's called a crush, Cas. And that feeling won't go away, trust me," he grinned, seeming to take great delight in my discomfort.

I looked around, swallowing hard, looking for her but part of me hoping I wouldn't see her. I hated human emotions. They were so complicated.

My heart stopped.

There she was. She was serving a few people drinks at the bar, smiling, looking –in a word- stunning. I swallowed hard, palms sweating, heart pounding.

"C'mon, Cas," Dean said, grinning as broadly as ever. He walked toward the bar, toward three open stools. Close to her. I swallowed again.

"Be right with you!" She called as we sat down. I stared down at my hands, trying not to look at her, to stare at her. My heart was thundering so hard.

"Calm down, Cas," Sam chuckled.

"Easy for you to say," I mumbled.

She bounced over, smiling routinely.

"So, what can I get you, boys?" She asked. I glanced up at her, right into her eyes. I quickly looked away, my cheeks hot. "Hey, I know you." Her hand touched my chin, lifting my face. I thought my heart was going to explode. "Yeah, couldn't miss those pretty eyes, huh?" My face got hotter. She giggled, her nose wrinkling in delight as she let my face go.

"Nice to see you again, uh, Annie, right?" Dean asked.

"Annabelle," I answered immediately. Dean looked at me, a smug look on his face. I scowled at him. Until she giggled again. Then my attention was back on her.

"So, Castiel," she leaned on the bar, ever still smiling. She shook her head. "That's still a funny kind of name. You mind if I call you Cas?" I smiled against my will.

"You can call me whatever you want." My face grew so I hot I was sure you could cook things on it as soon as the words were out of my mouth.

* * *

If only they knew. If only they knew they were being watched.

--Aww, angel crush. And foreshadowing! More soon!--


	5. Angel Eyes

5

**Angel Eyes**

"So, blue eyes, what can I get you?" I grinned. He was so darn cute. He hadn't stopped blushing since I'd walked over and he couldn't look at me for very long. Those bright eyes looked up at me whenever they could through his thick, dark lashes and quickly looked away whenever he caught me looking back.

"Um," said the cocky man next to him when it seemed that Castiel couldn't speak. "Three burgers, two beers and a Coke." He grinned slyly at him.

"Did you have too much to drink last night, sweetie?" I asked. He blushed again, making me smile. He just looked at me, still not able to speak.

"Yeah," Green eyes said, saving him again. "I don't think he'll drink like that again any time soon." Castiel shook his head, glancing at me.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," he mumbled. I giggled. He blushed to a deep red.

"Well, I'll be right back," I said, dropping a broad wink, making him blush deeper.

I walked back to the kitchen window, tearing the paper off the pad in my hand and putting it with the others.

"Three burgers, Nick!" I called back.

"Three burgers!" The heavy cook called.

"Hey, 'Belle," Nicole, a waitress, said, coming up next me drying a cup. "Who's the hotties at the bar?"

"Uh, well, not sure," I answered honestly. "All I know is the cute one in the trench coat's name is Castiel."

"'Castiel'? Is he foreign or what?"

"No, I don't think so," I laughed. "But hey, I could be wrong."

"So I take it you have dibs on that one?" Nicole asked, looking over at them.

"Well, he sort of hit on me first…so I guess so," I smiled, watching Sam and Dean talk to him, probably coaching him on how to proceed with the evening.

"Good," Nicole grinned, dropping an obvious wink at the green eyed man to Castiel's left, who smirked and winked right back. "'Cause I call dibs on _that_ one." She hastily grabbed a napkin and started writing on it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, chuckling.

"Making an appointment. I'm not about to have another Saturday night of "Sex and the City" and chocolate ice cream." She kissed the napkin and walked away, toward the green eyed guy.

I shook my head, laughing.

"Order up!" Nick bellowed behind me. I'd almost forgotten about their meals. I turned, putting the three baskets of food on a tray, placing it on one hand while I grabbed two beer bottles and a glass of Coke in the other. I smiled at my own dexterity. My mother always told me I was made for this business. I guess she was right.

I set down the tray and the drinks in front of them, tossing down ketchup and napkins a moment later. I looked at Nicole as she walked away, smiling at me.

"So," I leaned on the bar, resting my elbows on the counter. "What're your names?" I asked the green eyed guy Nicole liked and the giant one on Cas's right.

I saw Castiel wilt a little, as if he were a tad jealous that my attention was on them and not him.

_Don't worry, _I thought, looking at him. _I just want to be able to call them something else besides Green Eyes and Biggun._

"I'm Dean," the cocky one said.

"I'm Sam," Biggun stated.

"Alright, good to know," I said. I turned my attention back to Castiel. "So Cas, where're you from?" The other two men glanced at each other uneasily.

"Um," Castiel said, finally finding his voice. It was quiet, meek and grumbling. It made me think of a lamb that had gone through puberty. "All over. I travel a lot."

"Cool," I smiled. "Do you like music?" He half shrugged, still not looking at me very much.

"I don't listen to music much." I leaned closer to him, touching his chin and lifting his eyes to meet mine.

"You can look at me, sweetie. I don't bite." His face turned hot in my hands, smiling shyly. I grinned.

"That's better," I said. "So, when you do listen to music, what do you like?" He chewed his lip, keeping his eyes locked with mine. They really were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.

"Anything that isn't loud obnoxious yelling or people talking in rhythm about their various scores and cars," he said. I laughed at his phrasing, knowing that it wasn't done purposefully by his tone. It was genuine, everything about him was.

There was something different about Castiel. And I wanted to get to know him better to find out what that was.

We talked for most of the night. He slowly relaxed as the hours went on. I left every now and then to serve another drink or cut someone off. And when I got off at ten, I stayed. I sat next to him and talked some more while Sam and Dean went and played some poker, hit on a few people and watched us with amused looks on their faces.

I loved it when he smiled, or blushed, or laughed. He had this giggle that was just too damn cute. Those eyes had me, though. Those beautiful pools of blue. I don't think I'd ever get over that.

"Vienna sounds beautiful," I said, unable to take my eyes off of him. He didn't seem to notice. So cute.

"It is," he nodded. He opened his mouth to say more, but Dean cut him off.

"Hey, Cas!" He called. Cas shut his eyes, obviously agitated and turned. "We're headin' out. You comin?"

There was a lurch in my chest. I didn't want him to go. He glanced back at me, lips pursed, frowning. He didn't want to go either. I don't think he knew what to do though. He sort of looked at Dean, then at me, and back again, trying to decide what to do.

"Um, he's going with me," I said, taking his hand. Castiel's eyes got huge. He looked down at our closed hands as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. I could feel his pounding heart in his hand, his palms breaking out in a sweat. I smiled.

Dean's face broke into a huge grin. Sam shook his head, smiling slightly.

"C'mon, Cas." I guided him into a standing position, taking him toward the door. He looked back at Sam and Dean, a helpless look on his face. I squeezed his hand, pulling him close to me. "It's alright. You don't have anything to be worried about, alright? It's okay."

He swallowed hard, looking at me. He looked scared.

"Cas, you don't have to come with me if you don't want to."

"No, no I want to," he breathed. "I just…I'm…I don't know what to do."

"Just relax," I assured. "It'll be alright." He nodded, smiling shyly again. "C'mon."

And we walked out of the bar. I didn't realize what I was getting myself into.


	6. In the Arms of the Angel

6

**In the Arms of the Angel**

She walked into her apartment, flicking on a light and still holding his hand. He hadn't said much since they had left the bar, he was far too nervous to form coherent sentences. He'd looked out the window of the car uneasily, eyes wide, nodding or shaking his head to answer her.

She turned and shut the door before looking up at him, smiling gently. She giggled at his expression, his naïve, anxious expression. He must not relax much. Whatever his reason was, whether it be not getting out much or something along those lines, it was incredibly cute.

"It's alright," she assured. "Just relax."

Castiel had no idea what that word meant, but he would try. Annabelle started to lean toward him, slowly closing her eyes. Once again, Castiel was oblivious to what she was doing, and he didn't catch on until her lips connected with his.

His eyes grew to record size, body seizing up before slowly relaxing, his eyes drifting shut as a strange sensation filled his body. _What do humans call this again? _He thought. _Ki…kuh…kissing!_ He wasn't sure if he was right, but whatever this was, he liked it.

She had one hand cradling his cheek, the other on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding underneath her fingers as her lips continued to work with his. They were soft, tentative, gentle and sweet. Her heart fluttered a little.

She pulled away for a moment to catch her breath. His cheeks were flushed to a soft pink, breath heavy, a shy smile on his lips. So cute.

"You okay?" She asked, smiling. He nodded.

"Yes," he paused, looking a little embarrassed. "Can…can we do that again?" She giggled, her smile growing as she nodded, arms wrapping around his neck. He touched her waist hesitantly, his hand shaking a little.

Without taking her lips away from his, she guided him down the hall, toward her bedroom. They bumped into the walls, almost knocking down a few pictures.

The rest of the world seemed to disappear. There was nothing else but the man she was kissing and this apartment. The planet could've been obliterated and she wouldn't have noticed. Not when those eyes were on her.

The back of Castiel's legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell backwards, startled.

"Oh!" Annabelle exclaimed, almost falling on top of him.

She kissed him again, sliding her hands inside the trench coat and easing it from his shoulders. It and the blazer went quickly, as did his tie and his belt. She put his shaking hands to the hem of her shirt. He helped her pull it over her head. She shimmied off her jeans and kissed him some more, putting her hand on his shoulder to guide him toward the pillows. She leaned over him, fingers undoing the buttons on his shirt.

She kissed down his neck and chest as she revealed more and more skin.

The former angel was nearly losing his mind. He'd never been touched like this, not ever, and her lips on his chest made him feel very strange. A good strange. A very good strange, but he had no idea what was happening.

He pulled his shirt off, thinking that must be the logical reason as to why she was undoing it. Her light caress over his skin made an emotion that he couldn't name jump inside him and he moaned aloud, just as surprised as she was at the sudden noise.

He didn't understand what that was, but she smiled, giving him reassurance that it was alright without knowing it. She continued to touch him, to kiss him, relishing the feel of his soft, warm skin, impressed by the shape and tone of his body. His lips were so gentle and sweet, hands tentative.

His heart didn't start pounding painfully until they were both in their underwear. His breath came in quick gasps when his lips weren't occupied.

Annabelle saw it then. Something she should've noticed earlier to save herself the guilt now. She felt his thundering heart under her palm and looked up at him, right into those pretty eyes. And she saw innocence; one hundred percent pure, chaste, innocence. It was so strong it hurt her heart and took her breath away.

"Cas, you…you've never done this before, have you?" She asked softly. He shook his head, those ingenuous eyes wide. "You've never been kissed or…or anything?" he shook his head again, looking embarrassed.

It all made sense now. Perfect sense. Why he seemed so naïve about everything, it was because he was. His eyes stayed wide and he was nervous because he'd never experienced anything like this before. How he had gone this long without doing _something_ with _someone_ she didn't know. But looking into those eyes, those gorgeous blue pools of innocence, she couldn't take that away. She didn't have it in her.

"I can't…" She whispered. "Cas, what…what do you want to do?" He looked at her for a moment, just looked at her. After a moment he rolled on his side and wrapped his arms around her.

"Can we do this?" He asked. That shy smile again. Annabelle sighed and hugged him back, smiling lightly.

"Yes, we can," she said, kissing his chest. "You're too sweet, you know that?" He frowned, confused.

"No, I didn't actually." She laughed and shook her head.

"Well you are."

She nuzzled her face into his chest, wanting to be as close to him as she could get. Castiel felt the same. He held her close, shutting his eyes. He wasn't sure what this feeling was either. But once again, he liked it.

--Awn--


	7. Halo

7

**Halo**

Annabelle opened her eyes and was astonished to see Castiel still lying next to her. That was normal procedure. Go to bed with someone you just met and they're gone when you wake up. Then again, Castiel wasn't like any of the other guys she had been with. He was genuine, pure, innocent. Even if he did wake up before her he wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.

She smiled a little, stroking his cheek. He didn't stir, he was in too deep of a sleep. She caressed his face and his neck, taking time to note that wonderful feeling of his arms around her in an unconscious embrace. She still couldn't believe someone with his looks and deep seated sweetness had never done _anything_. However, that just added to the effect he had on her.

She glanced over her shoulder at her clock and gasped. "Shit!" She stood, rushing to her dresser and ripping out the first clothes she saw. She was going to be late for work.

Castiel stirred, his eyes opening sleepily. He frowned a little when he didn't feel her warmth against him and looked around. He saw her, her hair mussed with sleep, hands hurriedly yanking jeans over her hips, and smiled, blushing just a little.

"Hi," he said quietly, yawning softly.

"Hi," Annabelle said rather shortly, merely glancing up at him. Castiel frowned again, his eyes confused. "You gonna call Sam and Dean or do you need to call a cab?" She wanted him to leave. She didn't want him around her anymore, that was the only explanation for her behavior. He looked around for his shirt, his sad eyes looking from her to the floor and back again.

Annabelle didn't notice. She didn't register her tone toward him and she didn't see the hurtful look in his eyes. Not until she was looking in the mirror and raking her fingers through her hair. Her eyes met his, and her chest started to hurt.

"Cas, hey," she turned, looking as confused as he did. She sat on the edge of her bed, taking his hand. "What's wrong, babe? What's the matter?"

"Did…did I do something wrong?" He asked softly. She blanched.

"No, no of course not!" She said, touching his face. "Honey, why would you think you did something wrong?"

"You don't want me here anymore, what did I do wrong?" It hit her then what she had said and how it sounded. In her rush, she'd confused him and hurt his feelings. She felt horrible. She hadn't meant to do that, especially since he didn't know how this game worked.

"No, no that's not it at all," she assured. "I have to go to work, babe. I overslept. I was just making sure you had a way home." She kissed him, giggling when he gasped and blushed. "Of course I want you to be around. Hell, I'd rather stay here with you all day, but I need the money," she smiled at him. "I want to see you again, soon. And I want you to call me even sooner." Castiel's eyes lit up and she giggled.

She kissed him again, deeply, trying not to laugh again when she felt his heart hammering. "Don't forget about me, alright?" She said softly.

"That's impossible." He said so matter-of-factly that there was no doubt in her mind that it wasn't true. She stared at him for a moment, just looking. "You're going to be late for work," he said quietly. She groaned internally, wanting to lie down in his arms again.

"Promise me that I'll see you again," she said firmly.

"I promise." She kissed him, holding his face, a nagging voice in the back of her head screaming that she had to go. She groaned aloud this time and pulled away. "I'll see you later, babe."

* * *

Dean was smirking when I came over to the car. I felt stupid for having to be picked up and unable to navigate myself but I had no choice.

I sat down in the passenger seat, trying and failing to ignore Dean's stare.

"What?" I asked, exasperated.

"So Cas is finally a man," he grinned. I frowned, not understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not a virgin anymore!" He exclaimed, looking happy. I was almost sorry to disappoint him. Almost.

"Yes I am," I said, looking out the windshield.

"What?" He blanched.

"I'm still a virgin, Dean," I repeated. Humans could be such idiots sometimes. Especially this one. Maybe all that gunfire was making him hard of hearing.

"You really expect me to believe that?" He said, smirking still.

"I swear to…to whatever I have let to swear to that Annabelle and I did not have relations." I still didn't look at him.

"Why the hell not?" He demanded. I frowned, glaring at him.

"That's none of your business," I snapped. Dean looked at me for a beat before a smile slowly crept its way across his face.

"You got scared, didn't you?" He pried.

"Shut up."

"C'mon, Cas, it's alright if you're too scared to get naked with a girl."

"I said shut up."

"I don't know how the hell you could pass that up. I mean, damn. Hot."

"Dean, I suggest you shut your mouth." I felt something inside me, something boiling almost.

"I'm just tellin' you the truth, dude. She was smokin'. I'd bang her." The boiling sensation grew and rose to my face.

"Don't talk about her like that." I growled, fists clenched.

"It's really a simple task, Cas. And then when it's over you don't even have to call her…"

"Dean, shut up!" Something was going to happen, I could feel it. I wasn't sure what, all I knew is Dean had better stop talking. But, as usual, he didn't.

"…No strings attached and if she calls you, lie your ass off. Say there's someone else, that sort of thing."

"Dean…" I warned, teeth gritted.

"And if you meet up with her again you have some more fun and do it all over again." He smiled at me, and I punched him as hard as I could right in that stupid mouth of his.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU FORNICATE WITH EVERYTHING IN SIGHT AND FEEL AS IF YOU CAN USE WOMEN DOESN'T MEAN I DO TOO! YOU DON'T KNOW ANNABELLE OR ANYTHING ABOUT HER! IF YOU DID YOU WOULDN'T LET HER GET AWAY! NOW SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH AND _DRIVE!_" I screamed. I was surprised at myself. I'd never felt this angry before. Not ever, and that scared me a little. Dean stared at me, holding his mouth, shocked.

My deep breathing started to slow. My hands started to relax, my teeth started to unclench. Slowly, very slowly, Dean smiled again, laughing.

"What?" I barked. He shook his head and started the car. "What?"

"You're in love," he grinned, driving out of the parking lot.

Love? No, surely not. I couldn't experience that kind of love. I never had. But I had been an angel before. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe I could love. Maybe I was in it.

"We gotta meet Sam out at the town's community center," Dean said, still chortling.

"Why?" I asked irritably.

"We've got a hunt."


	8. Holy Water

8

**Holy Water**

Sam glared at his brother when he saw the look on Castiel's face.

"What?" Dean said. Sam nodded to Castiel. "Oh, that. Yeah, he's kinda pissed at me."

"Understatement," the former angel growled, walking past him.

"What did you do?" Sam sighed.

"I might've given him dating advice that he didn't like," he mumbled. Sam rolled his eyes, huffing. "So, uh…where is everybody?" Dean asked, looking around the empty room.

Community centers were usually crowded places, filled with people either working out or swimming or practicing some sort of sport in the gymnasium. Not right now, apparently. It seemed that other than the scowling man in the trench coat, Sam and him, there was no one else in the building.

"We are everybody," Sam said. "The manager closed this place down after the fourth death for safety reasons. He thinks we're maintenance workers to check the wiring and safety codes for the building."

"A.k.a., we're killing the crap out of whatever's here and getting the hell out, right?"

"Right," Sam nodded. "I checked the EMF before you got here and it's off the charts no matter where you go. We'll just have to split up and find the damn thing."

"So, what are you thinkin'? Poltergeist?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna check the gym upstairs. That's where the last two deaths were. You and Cas should check the pool where the other two were," he suggested.

"Why isn't Cas goin' somewhere by himself? He's a big boy, Sammy," Dean grumped.

"He's never been on a hunt before, Dean. And he doesn't have his powers anymore, which makes it, like, ten times worse. Just…stay with him, alright?" Sam sighed, cocking the shot gun in his hands and jogging up the staircase.

Dean sighed and looked at Castiel, who was staring out at the pool, face unreadable.

"Cas," Dean said. He turned and he tossed a shotgun into his arms, which he caught hastily and almost dropped.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" The ex-angel frowned.

"Shoot anything that isn't me or Sam," Dean said. "If it looks pissed off, shoot it twice."

"Okay," Castiel said nervously.

He followed Dean into the room that held the pool. The air was thick and heavy. The stink of chlorine burned his nose. He looked down at the still water curiously, noting that he could barely see the bottom.

"So what are we looking for?" He asked loudly.

"Shh!" Dean hissed, holding a finger to his lips.

"Sorry."

"We're trying to find a ghost of some sort. We think. We're pretty sure," Dean said thoughtfully.

"'Pretty sure'?" Castiel said skeptically.

"Really pretty sure?" Dean ventured. Castiel frowned at him. "We'll figure it out. That's why we're here."

"Right," Castiel mumbled, looking around. "Well, I don't see anything." He didn't. All that was in the room was the pool and them. Every tiny sound echoed off of the walls, creating a very eerie atmosphere that Castiel didn't care for.

The lights flickered above their heads. Castiel looked around, his eyes wide. Dean shifted his grip on the gun.

"Cas, stay behind me," he said quietly. He nodded, still looking around.

"AAAHHHHNNN!" The scream thundered around them. Dean spun around on his heels, eyes wide and scared.

"SAMMY!" He started to run for the door. "CAS, STAY HERE!" He bolted out the door and out of sight, leaving the untrained hunter alone and unsure of what he should do.

He stayed in the room with the pool, just as Dean told him to. He walked around the edge of the pool, staring curiously at the water. He caught sight of his own reflection, cocking his head to the side as it rippled and shook with the tiny waves.

That's when he saw it. A horrible, contorted face behind him, grinning maliciously. He spun around, clumsy fingers trying to grip the shot gun and shoot it at the creature before him.

The thing laughed, sending chills up Castiel's spine. He doubled his efforts to try and shoot the being, but it was too late. The thing's hand lunged at him, striking him square in the chest.

He was blind-sighted by the force of the blow and dropped the gun, air leaving his lungs as he teetered backward.

The thing with the ghoulish face smiled and placed a finger on the former angel's chest, shoving him.

Castiel only had seconds to think before he hit the water.

* * *

"SAMMY?" Dean thundered up the stairs, eyes searching for his little brother or the thing that made him cry out. "SAAM?"

"Dean!" He bolted toward the strangled voice.

"Sam!" He was stuck under a barbell that was loaded with enough weight to kill a horse. His face was red, veins and muscles straining in his arms and his neck as he tried to lift the enormous load off of him.

Dean rushed over to him and lifted, grunting and using everything he had to get the crushing metal off of him. Sam helped as much as he could and finally –after Dean was sure he overexerted something- it fell to the floor with a weighted clang.

Sam took strangled gasps for air with Dean's hand on his back.

"You okay, Sammy?" He asked. Sam coughed and nodded, standing shakily.

"Yeah," he gasped. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"Poltergeist?"

"Yeah. Nasty son of a bitch. I think there's more than one," he wheezed.

"You okay to walk?" Sam nodded and they headed for the stairs.

They were halfway down when they heard the splash. The two brothers looked at each other.

"Cas?" Sam said. Dean's eyes grew and he darted down the steps. "Dean, what's wrong?" Sam called.

"Cas can't swim!"

* * *

He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that the more he struggled, the worse it got. His trench coat made it impossible to move and his tie was trying to strangle him. He couldn't breathe and he couldn't fight his way to the top. He was sinking lower and lower, his lungs growing so tight he thought they'd burst.

The edges of his vision were growing dark, his hammering heart slowing. The chemicals burning his eyes and blurring his vision.

He tried to fight just a little harder, but he was too weak. He choked on the water again, but there was nothing he could do.

_Help me…_


	9. To Error is Human

9

**To Error is Human**

Dean skidded to a halt once he reached the pool. He looked around frantically, searching for his friend. The second his eyes met the spot where he had fallen he dove in, not noticing the poltergeist on the other side.

Sam, however, did. He shot at the spectral being twice, making damn sure it disappeared.

Dean heard the shots, but paid no attention to them. He was more worried about getting to Castiel, who was sinking slowly, his eyes closed. He was losing his own air, fast, but he would endure. His arm wrapped around Castiel's waist and heaved, using everything he had to get to the top. He gasped for air when he reached the top. Castiel coughed, hard, water spilling past his lips.

He continued coughing when Sam helped pull him out and lay him on the concrete. He offered his brother a hand and helped haul him out.

Dean knelt down next to him, wiping water out of his own eyes. Castiel coughed, blinking several times before shutting his eyes, his chest heaving,

"How'd you know he couldn't swim?" Sam asked.

"He didn't know how to use the friggin' bathroom. Made sense if he didn't know how to swim," he gasped. The two brothers looked down at Castiel, whose eyes were still shut.

"Are you alright, Cas?" Sam asked.

"I hate being human," he said, voice even more gravelly than usual. "I mean I really, really hate being human."

The Winchesters chuckled and helped him up.

"I shot one of the poltergeists," Sam said. "I need to get back to the motel and do some research."

"Why?" Dean asked, helping to support the sopping and groggy man hanging off of him.

"The thing I saw… I dunno, it wasn't a person anymore. I mean, it's face was all distorted. It might've been from an accident that happened here."

"Or it's evil's showing," Dean snickered.

"C-can we g-g-go?" Castiel shivered. "Th-th-this is not p-pleasant."

"Yeah, Cas, let's get the hell outta here." Dean said, ignoring his own chills and noting that Castiel had the disadvantage of never feeling like this before.

Castiel sat in the back of the Impala, his head tilted back, ignoring the blasphemous music blaring from the speakers and thinking about a beautiful face he was dying to see again.

They got back to the motel and he kicked off his shoes, wringing out his socks and his tie, still shivering. He rubbed his burning eyes, wondering why he felt so tired.

"Cas," Sam said, giving him an empathetic half-smile. "You should probably take a shower."

"A what?" He asked, still dazed.

"A shower," Dean repeated, stepping out of the bathroom and shaking the water out of his dripping hair. "Trust me, it'll make you feel better."

He nodded, brow creased. "And how exactly do I take one of those?" Dean started to laugh; Sam's eyes grew.

Dean clapped his little brother on the shoulder. "All yours, Sammy," he grinned.

"What? No!"

"I got potty-training, you get shower."

Castiel looked between them while they argued, like a child watching his parents fight. He looked down at his hands, feeling –not for the first time- like he was a burden on the brothers.

"Alright, alright," Sam said, holding up his hands in surrender and sighing. "C'mon, Cas."

* * *

I didn't understand why Sam was as flustered as he was when explaining this process. I didn't know why he was so embarrassed just to talk about it. Maybe he wasn't very good at this task.

The warm water felt much better than the cold pool I had fallen into. It took the horrible smell from my skin, lessening the sting in my eyes. Until I got soap in them.

The harder I rubbed at them the worse it got. I stumbled back, almost slipping and falling, crying out. I grunted and hissed, still digging, blind and unable to stop it. I slipped down the porcelain, falling hard on the bottom of the tub.

I tried to open my eyes to see, to try and get the soap out but it hurt. I tried to stand, but I slipped again, this time falling forward on my hands and into the stream of the water. It washed over me, taking the soap with it.

I wiped my eyes one more time, finally able to see. The burn that was there before was much worse now.

"Cas?" Dean's voice called from the other side of the door. "Cas, you alright?"

"Yes!" I called back. "I'm fine." I cautiously pushed myself up into a standing position again. The water ran over me again, getting me warm again. I rested my arm against the wall in front of me.

A stinging met my eyes, not like before, different. My lower lip started to tremble and water filled my eyes. It fell from them, just a few drops at first, then more and more. A small sound escaped my lips. I wasn't sure what it was, but it had to come out. I couldn't stop it from doing that.

I hated being human, I hated it. I wasn't very good at it either. I was utterly useless. There was nothing I could do right. I couldn't talk to a woman, I couldn't behave like a man, I couldn't hunt, I couldn't swim, I couldn't even shower! I'm useless, worthless, even my father thinks so.

I sniffed, shutting my eyes.

My stomach growled at me and I scowled, the sounds in my throat growing louder. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make myself better at this. I didn't know how to not make Sam and Dean roll their eyes when I asked a question or said something wrong. I wanted to be able to do something right.

I didn't know how. I didn't know what I should do. They couldn't help me. Being human was instinct for them. There were things they just, knew.

I shut off the water, still trying hard to get the water falling from my eyes to stop. I sniffled again, drying off like Sam had told me to. I pulled the gray sweats over my waist and the blue T-shirt over my head.

I didn't know how to make it stop. I didn't know how to get the sounds to stop.

"Cas?" Dean's voice again. "Cas, are you alright?"

"Yes," I said, my voice cracking.

"Hey," he opened the door. I looked away, wiping my eyes again. He grabbed my shoulder, turning me around. I kept my eyes down, ashamed at what I was doing. "Hey, hey, it's alright." He lifted my chin. What's wrong?"

"I…I don't know," I choked. "I don't even know what I'm doing."

"Cas, you're crying. It's okay," he assured. He hugged me, letting me…cry.

"What am I supposed to do, Dean?" I gulped. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Just… just take it one day at a time, Cas. It'll be alright."

I hoped he was right. I _prayed_ he was right.

And for some reason I wasn't sure of, I wanted Annabelle. I wanted to see her, so bad.

That just made me cry harder.

-No slash, folks. Poor lil guy...-


	10. One Wing in the Fire

10

**One Wing in the Fire**

He wanted to call Annabelle, he really did. After his ordeal and horrible night sleep last night he needed to see her. But his phone wouldn't work anymore due to the water damage it had suffered.

He stared at it, his shoulder's drooped, sadness and disappointment in his eyes.

"Man, poor kid can't catch a break," Dean said, shaking his head. Sam glanced over at him from his laptop.

"Yeah, I've noticed," he said.

"We should take 'im to go see her again," Dean remarked. "It's not his fault he got attacked by a poltergeist and shoved in a pool, that's on us."

"Take him tonight," Sam said, still lost in the screen.

"Did you find anything out, Geek Boy?" He asked.

Castiel frowned and threw the phone to the floor, angry.

"Uh," Sam looked from Dean to the laptop, trying to ignore the ex-angel's sudden outburst. "About a hundred years ago there was a farmhouse that was there. The Hendersons. It was just the father and his two sons. The sons went missing and were never found but, there was a rumor floating around that the old man killed them by pouring lye all over them," Sam explained.

"Which would explain why they're so freaky lookin'," Dean said. Sam nodded.

"And why they're so pissed off," he said.

"So how do we kill 'em?" He asked.

"The hex bag recipe that Missouri gave us is a cure-all, so it should be no problem."

"Then let's take care of it tomorrow," Dean said. "I think we owe Cas a favor."

* * *

I sighed, staring off into space. I wanted to see Cas again. And even though it had only been a day since I'd seen him, I missed him. It was silly, really. I probably wouldn't see him again, anyway.

No, no, Castiel wasn't like other guys. Cas was sweet and genuine. When he said he would do something, he'd do it. But that didn't make it any better.

"Hey, 'Belle," Nicole said in a sing-song voice. "Your boyfriend's here."

I smiled and looked toward the door, grinning even more when I saw those brilliant blue orbs looking back at me.

I trotted around the bar, unable to stop myself from smiling. I stopped in front of him.

"Hi, guys," I said, waving to Sam and Dean. I looked up at the worn looking man in front of me, smiling gently.

"Hi, Cas," I said. He looked at me for a beat before wrapping his arms around me, tight. I frowned, hugging him back, running my fingers through his hair. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" I asked quietly. "What's the matter, baby?" He didn't answer, just buried his face deeper in my neck, squeezing tighter.

I looked over his shoulder at the two brothers for assistance.

"He, uh, he had a rough day yesterday," Dean said, smiling lightly. Sam nodded. I sighed in understanding and lifted Castiel's chin.

"I get off in ten minutes, sugar. We can talk then, alright?" He nodded and sat down, looking sad enough to make my heart hurt. I touched his cheek, smiling gently before walking away, worried. I didn't want to see him sad, I wanted to see him smile. I wanted him to laugh and be shy, like he was before. I wanted him to be okay. And I'd do whatever it took to make sure he was that way again.

The second my shift was over I clocked out and walked over to him, taking his hand and guiding him outside.

Clouds had covered the sky, threatening rain in this slightly chilled weather. I smiled up at him, feeling a little better when he blushed and looked away shyly.

"There you are," I grinned. "I knew you were in there somewhere." He frowned, cocking his head in that puppy dog-like manner that made me giggle.

"I don't understand," he said. I laughed harder.

"You were acting strange," I chuckled. "I'm glad you're acting normally again." He smiled a little and I squeezed his hand. "Now, what's wrong, babe?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. "Some of it's a really long story," he mumbled. "And… and I can't tell you."

"Then tell me what you can," I said patiently, touching his face and grinning when his cheek grew hot under my palm.

"I… I was near a pool yesterday and I fell in," he admitted, looking down at the asphalt. "There wasn't anyone around… and I… I can't swim."

"Well thank God you're okay!" I exclaimed.

"Dean pulled me out," he said, nodding toward the window beside the table where the Winchester's were sitting. "Sam helped."

"Anything else?" I asked. Before he could answer, a flash of light warned everyone before thunder rumbled across the late afternoon sky.

Castiel jumped. I squeezed his hand. Then the sky opened up, sending buckets of rain down on us.

"Do you want to go inside?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I will go for you, if you want to, but… it's too loud and my head hurts." That sweetness in his voice made my heart melt a little. He was so genuinely… well, genuine.

"We'll stay out here then," I nodded. "Now what else is wrong?"

"It's not… not wrong…" he said, thinking and trying to find the words. "But it hurts…"

"What hurts?"

He put his hand on his chest, over his heart. "Here, when I think about you and I'm not with you. It hurts, and I don't understand why."

I was surprised I didn't faint right then and there. That was beyond sweet, beyond good. It was almost angelic.

"Well, I'm here now," I said, lying my head against his wet chest, listening to his heart thud as he grew nervous once more.

"Not for long," he breathed. "I want to stay with you again. I want to hold you again. But I have to help Sam and Dean with, with work." I looked up into his eyes, just to be sure. I was already almost positive that he would never lie to me no matter what, but I had to be sure.

I saw that innocence in that blue that had me enchanted. He wasn't lying. He wouldn't, no, he couldn't lie. I kissed him, smiling softly when he gasped and slowly moved hia lips against mine.

"It's alright," I assured. "We'll see each other as soon as we can." It hurt me when I didn't see him as well. From the second he had left I wanted him back there again. And now, knowing that our time was limited, it only made that ache worse.

He hugged me again. I felt him shivering underneath me. I smiled, linking my fingers in his again.

"C'mon, Cas," I said, guiding him back inside.

I tossed him a towel when we got in the hall beside the kitchen that led to the dumpsters. I rubbed my head and dabbed my clothes, wiping my face and shaking out my ponytail. I wrung out my shirt and looked over at him. I giggled when I saw that he was just standing there, looking at the towel like he didn't know what to do with it.

"Well, dry off," I urged. He cocked his head.

"I didn't shower," he said, as if making a point. I giggled.

"You're a strange one, you know that?" I walked toward him, taking the soaked trench coat and suit jacket from his shoulders. I wrung out his tie and took the towel from his hand, taking the drops of water clinging to the tips of his hair and the water on his face.

I un-tucked his shirt and wrung out what water I could. I moved the towel to the back of his neck and his hair. My hands were on either end of the towel when I stopped. I looked up at him, smiling.

"There," I said, smiling. Before I knew it I was leaning toward him, desperately wanting those beautiful lips against my own. I pulled him to me, using the towel to do it. He obliged to the sudden request, falling back against the wall. His lips were tentative and gentle, so soft…

We broke apart for a moment. I looked up into his eyes and saw something I hadn't yet. Lust.

* * *

The sensation I had overcame me so quickly I didn't know what I was doing. I looked at Annabelle and pulled her as close to me as I could, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other holding her thigh next to my hip. We fell against the opposite wall, kissing heatedly.

I came to my senses a few moments after that. I broke away from her, stepping back, gasping, eyes wide at the sudden impulse I had acted upon.

She smiled at me, more surprised than anything I think.

"I, I'm sorry," I stammered. "I don't kn-know why I-" She giggled, making me blush.

"Come here, Cas," she said quietly, kissing me again. I didn't do what I had done before. I was back to fumbling my way through each kiss, wondering if I was doing something stupid or not. "Don't worry, you aren't gonna scare me off, Cas," She smiled. I smiled a little, ruefully.

"Don't be so sure about that." She shook her head.

"You could be from Mars, for all I care. And I'd stay right here." She hugged me again. I knew she could help me feel better, I knew it.

"Cas!" Dean called. I groaned and turned. "C'mon, we gotta go."

* * *

I kissed him one more time, touching his face and hoping that these nervous tendencies he had never went away. He walked away, looking over his shoulder at me three times before leaving.

I shook my head, smiling. I didn't know what the hell that little outburst was earlier, but I kinda liked it.


	11. The Devil is Due

11

**The Devil is Due**

Castiel took another shower, thankfully not getting soap in his eyes again, grateful to be out of his damp clothes and be warm again.

He was lying on his bed now, looking up at the ceiling, trying to get a grasp on why he behaved the way he did with Annabelle. He wanted something, but he wasn't sure what, when he kissed her like that.

He shook his head. He would never do something unless she wanted to as well, he just had absolutely no idea why he acted the way he did, or what the hell that feeling was.

"Cas, you alright?" Dean asked, smirking curiously at him.

"I don't know," he said honestly. Dean's smile grew and he glanced at his brother.

"You got hot for her, didn't you?" He asked. Castiel frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Uh," Dean chuckled. "You, uh… How do I put this..? Alright, just, think about her for a minute." The newly mortal man shut his eyes, thinking.

He thought about her thick hair, how soft it was as it fell between his fingers. He thought of how he felt when she kissed him. It was the best feeling in the world. He saw her face, the soft outlines of her cheeks, that beautiful smile, her giggle and that wrinkle in her nose when he made her laugh.

He sighed contentedly, smiling a little, wishing he was with her right now. So he could hold her, so he could kiss her, so he-

His eyes flew open and he sat up, looking down. His ever still wide eyes looked at Dean, terrified and confused.

"Dean, um… wh, what is that?"

It took them both a moment to understand what he meant. And once they did, Sam started laughing so hard he fell down.

Dean slapped a hand over his face, chuckling, embarrassed for him.

Castiel looked between them, confused and wondering why they were laughing at him. He didn't think this was funny at all!

"Your turn, Dean," Sam blurted, still laughing. Dean went pale, groaning in despair.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled. He sighed and looked up at the confused man in front of him, who was trying to figure out how to get whatever this was to go away. "Alright, Cas," Dean said, throwing a book at Sam to shut him up. "Time for 'The Talk'."

"The what?"

"Just shut up and listen."

* * *

"The Talk" just left Castiel more confused than before. He didn't need to know all of that; all he wanted to know was what the hell was going on and how to make it stop. Instead, he learned how sex works. He didn't dare ask any questions. He didn't want to hear the answers. The conversation made him uncomfortable, solving his initial problem.

He went to sleep with a slight twinge in his throat, but thought nothing of it. Not until the next morning, at least.

He woke up, feeling groggy, the ache in his throat now a burning sensation. His face felt hot, but the rest of him was freezing. He didn't really understand what was happening, or why he felt this way. This being human thing was really complicated.

"Dean?" He croaked, his throat feeling like it was being stabbed.

Dean looked over at him from his spot at the card table, setting the newspaper down, frowning. "Cas, somethin' wrong?" He nodded slowly, moving to get up, but finding the act difficult. His joints ached and his arms shook when he tried to prop himself up. Dean came over to him when he fell back down.

"Hey, hey, easy," Dean said. "What's wrong, Cas?" He put a hand on his forehead, answering his own question. His brow creased with worry.

"Wh-what's wrong with me?" He asked, that same horrible burning in his throat.

"I think you're sick," Dean explained, putting the back of his hand on his cheek. "It's not too awful bad. You should be alright in a couple days."

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, coming out of the bathroom, his hair damp.

"Cas is sick," Dean said, standing and going over to him.

"How the hell did he get sick?" Sam asked, lowering his voice.

"I don't know," Dean shrugged. "I mean, he was outside in the rain for awhile yesterday, but other than that…" Sam shut his eyes, sighing.

"I should've thought of that sooner," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"That body's immune system has to be terrible," Sam explained. "I mean, it didn't get hurt, it wasn't prone to any viruses because Cas was possessing it. It had no reason to build anything up because Cas was protecting it. And now that he can't do that anymore he's about as vulnerable as a two year old when it comes to illnesses."

"Great," Dean sighed. "This sucks!"

"No wonder he hates being human," Sam sighed. "He keeps getting the short end of the stick."

"I'm gonna get him some Tylenol and try to explain what's going on," Dean said, turning. Sam grabbed his shoulder, turning him back around.

"Dean, we have to take care of that poltergeist thing," He said firmly.

"I think it can wait, Sammy," he turned again and once again, Sam turned him around.

"No it can't! They're opening that place again in two hours. If we don't take care of this now people are gonna get hurt."

Dean sighed, running his hand over his face. "I'm not gonna make him get up, get in the car and wait for God knows how long while he feels like this. If it wasn't the first time he's _ever_ been sick in his life it'd be different."

"Then he can stay here."

"What the hell kind of answer is that?" Dean scowled.

"Dean, I'm saying this because I think it's a good idea, I'm saying this because people are going to die if we don't take care of this."

"Do we both seriously need to go?"

"It'll go a helluva lot faster if it's both of us. That and you saw those things, we need back-up."

Dean sighed again, looking over at his sickened friend. "How long will it take?"

"With both of us? Ten minutes. Tops," Sam promised. Dean sighed.

"Ten minutes?" He asked after a beat of silence. Sam nodded. Dean took another breath and went back over to Castiel, taking out his phone and snatching the Tylenol off of the counter.

"Cas?" He said gently. He stared up at him, looking absolutely miserable. "Sam and I have to go out of r a few minutes, alright? We have to take care of those poltergeists before somebody gets hurt. We'll be gone for ten minutes, okay?" Castiel nodded. Dean put the cell phone on the side table next to him. "All you have to do is dial one and hit talk. It'll call Sam, okay?"

"Wh-why would I need to call Sam?" He rasped. Sam handed his older brother a glass of water, who nodded thankfully and turned his attention back to Castiel.

"In case something bad happens, alright? Or if you need anything, anything at all," he said, carefully lifting his head and tipping the pills and a mouthful of water to his lips.

"Okay," Castiel said, right before he broke into a coughing fit. Dean frowned again. The last thing he wanted to do was leave him alone right now.

"Alright, we'll be right back, okay?" He stood, grabbing his car keys and his jacket. Sam was hesitant as well, but he knew that the sooner they left the sooner they'd be back. Besides, it was just ten minutes, Castiel would be fine.

"See ya in a minute, Cas," Sam said before walking out the door. Dean took one last look before he followed Sam, making sure the door was locked as he went.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked. Dean pursed his lips.

"I just, I have a bad feeling. It's probably nothing…"

The brothers got into the Impala, and left.

* * *

Castiel felt miserable, absolutely miserable. The Tylenol Dean had given him hadn't kicked in yet, and he wasn't sure what it would do when it did.

He was pulling the blankets around him tighter when the door burst open.

He jumped, crying out in surprise. Three men stepped in wearing suits.

"Hello, Castiel," the man at the front said.

"Z-Zachariah," he stammered, reaching behind him for the phone, shaking in the sudden cold that touched his fevered skin.

The angel stepped closer to him, smiling. "What's the matter, little brother?" He chuckled as Castiel desperately tried to get a grip on the device and back away from him, no matter how much his body begged him not to.

Zachariah laughed harder when the phone fell. "Sam and Dean shouldn't have left you alone when you're this," he grinned, looking the sickened man over. "Weak."

"Please," Why he said that particular word, Castiel didn't know. He did know that he was scared. Very, very scared.

Zachariah cocked his head to the side, still smiling. "Take him."

"No, no, please! DEAN!"

-Uh oh!-


	12. God Must Be Busy

**-Hurt!Cas this chap!-**

12

**God Must Be Busy**

As soon as those two angels grabbed my arms I was somewhere else. A big, concrete room with a high ceiling. It was so unbelievably cold. Bumps rose on my arms that stung.

The angels let me go and I fell to my knees, trembling. I looked up.

Zachariah and five other angels stood behind him, not counting the ones who had just dropped me here.

Zachariah was smirking at me, a thoughtful finger pressed to his chin. "Clothes, off."

"Wh-what?" I asked, my throat still burning painfully.

"I said…" He clenched his fist. My insides went with it, churning horribly. I doubled over, crying out at the sudden horrible pain. "Clothes off."

"Okay, okay," I gasped, the pain subsiding.

My shaking hands went to the hem of my shirt. It was halfway over my head when I realized that I didn't want to take off my clothes. I didn't want these people, some of whom I didn't even know, to see me naked. But if I didn't do this then Zachariah would hurt me more, and I didn't want that either. I was already in pain.

"Go on, now," the angel urged, sending another wave of blinding pain through my stomach. I let out a sob, the sound escaping my throat on its own.

I dropped my shirt to the ground, my hands going to the waistband of my pants. Some of the angels were laughing now, and that only made this awful feeling worse. I kept my head down, tears on my cheeks, sniffling.

I was whimpering lightly, the sobs coming in quiet gasps, when I went to remove my undergarments. The laughter and snickering continued. I fell back to my knees.

"Now there's a good soldier," Zachariah chuckled. With the tilt of his head chains came down from the ceiling, shackles closed around my wrists and I was hauled up mercilessly.

My arms were high above my head. I was standing on the balls of my feet because I was so high off the ground. My breath came in small gasps, shaking in fear.

"Oh yes, there's no doubt in my mind that Sam and Dean will be here very shortly. And if they aren't, well, then I suppose we'll find some way to pass the time."

He stepped toward me, thinking once more.

"You're new to this whole human thing, aren't you?" I didn't answer. Zachariah was cruel, and he knew just how to hurt me. And he wouldn't hesitate to do so. "Well, I think it's time you got the whole human experience."

"How about we start with…a broken heart."

It was an awful, hollow feeling. It felt as if my heart was in bleeding pieces, having been torn apart. I started to cry again, Annabelle's face in my mind.

"No…no…" I croaked, my head pounding from fever and the stress of my tears and no matter what I did it would not end.

"Or maybe…" That pain stopped. I took deep breaths, trying to get through it. "Getting shot?"

A second later my shoulder erupted in agony. I screamed, coughing and gagging as my throat tore.

"AGH! Oh please, please, NO! NO!" I threw my head back, hissing. It was like it was on fire. I looked sideways, at my shoulder. It was bleeding, a nasty looking hole residing there. But the pain didn't stop. Zachariah did not heal me from this nightmare.

My legs weren't holding me up anymore, I was simply hanging by my wrists, sobbing uncontrollably. I didn't know how to take this, how to handle it. I wasn't like Sam and Dean, I wasn't strong, like them. And I didn't know how to be.

Suddenly the chain gave way and I crumpled to the ground, slamming onto my knees again. Fear overwhelmed me when Zachariah stepped toward me.

I looked up at him, tears on my face, lips shaking. He smiled down at me, chuckling, right before an unbearable force struck my face. His fist.

He backhanded me, slapped me, kicked my ribs. My fevered state only made this so much worse. I didn't know how to be sick, I didn't know how to be tortured. I just didn't know what to do.

When I was coughing, blood in my mouth, bruises on my face and shivering violently he stepped away, taking Sam's phone from his pocket.

"I think it's time we give them a call, don't you?"

"Why?" I croaked. He smiled.

"You're my bargaining chip," he stated. "They say yes, I let you go and promise to never hurt you again. And even if they don't come on those terms, they will come get you."

I shook my head, stomach plummeting. No, no he couldn't do that! He couldn't do that to them! I wasn't that important!

"Nohoh…" I whispered. But there was nothing I could do.

"Hey there, Dean."

* * *

Dean practically busted the motel room door down when they got back. All he wanted was reassurance that Castiel was alright.

But instead, his fears of something horrible happening were confirmed.

The bed was empty. Sam's phone was gone.

"CAS?" He bellowed, darting into the bathroom, looking around wildly, Sam doing the same. "SON OF A BITCH!"

"May…maybe he went with Annabelle or something," Sam offered, grasping at straws. Dean shook his head.

"Annabelle wouldn't take him anywhere when he was sick like that," he said, running his hand through his hair.

"Maybe-" Before Sam could make another pointless speculation, Dean's phone rang.

The brothers' eyes lit up and Dean crammed his hand in his pocket, taking out the device as quickly as he could and flipping it open.

"Cas? Cas, where the hell are you-?"

"Hey there, Dean." Hatred found its way to Dean's face faster than Sam could blink. His lip curled into a sneer, cheek twitching in rage.

"Where is he?" He growled.

"Oh, Castiel?" He chortled. "He's right here. He's doing quite well, actually."

"What did you do to him?" He barked.

"Oh, I just gave him a little taste of what humans go through. Ya know, heart break, a gunshot, a good beating…"

"You listen to me right now you junkless piece of shit," he snarled. "You let him go right now or-"

"Or…what? I could kill him in a second, faster than you could decide just what you were going to threaten me with. So I suggest you play nice."

"How do I know he's even alive?" He challenged.

Zachariah glanced down at his shaking brother. "You want proof? Then I'll let you talk to-"

"You think I'm stupid?"

"Very much so."

Dean flexed his jaw. "I'm not gonna fall for that 'I'm an angel and I can change my voice' crap. You're gonna have to do better than that."

"Fine." He grabbed a handful of Castiel's hair, forcing his face up. "You know, this needs something." He shut his eyes for a moment. A dirtied, white rag had tied itself around Castiel's mouth, blood from his lips staining it.

He whimpered a little, tears in his eyes as he looked at Sam's phone curiously, wondering why Zachariah had it pointed at his face.

A few seconds later Dean looked down at the picture of his bruised and bloodied friend with Sam looking over his shoulder.

"Oh my god," Sam breathed, shaking his head, his expression pained. Dean shut his eyes and licked his lips, putting the phone back to his ear.

"What do you want, Zachariah?" He asked darkly.

"What do you think I want?" He chortled. "See, you are stupid. You ask stupid questions."

"I want to talk to him," Dean demanded, ignoring him.

"Fine," he resolved, bending down and yanking the cloth from Castiel's mouth and pressing the phone to his ear.

"Cas?" Dean asked hopefully, all the hate and anger gone from his voice.

"D-Dean?" The frightened man whimpered.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here, buddy," he assured, smiling a little. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips when Castiel stared to cry. "Hey, hey, it's alright. Everything's gonna be okay, Cas, I promise."

"Dean, please," he implored. "D-don't come look f-for me. I b-beg you, please!"

"Cas, you're our friend," Dean said. "We're not just gonna leave you there!"

"Th-they want you to say yes," he choked. "Please, I'm not that important p-please…Please."

"Cas-"

"Please!"

"Cas," Dean sighed, shaking his head and trying to change the subject. "Cas, are they hurting you?"

"Y-yes," he whimpered. "I, I don't f-feel good, Dean. I-it hurts. Everything hurts…" He was sobbing.

"It's gonna be alright, it's okay. I know you're scared, Cas, it's okay."

"Th-they made me t-take my cl-clothes off."

Dean shut his eyes again, his free hand clenching into a fist and shaking.

"I-it's so cold…" He was crying harder. "An', and the chains…"

"You're gonna be alright, Cas, okay? You gotta fight them, alright? Can you do that, bud?" He asked gently.

"I d-don't know h-how," he shuddered. "I'm n-not strong l-like you, Dean. I d-don't know what to do…" Dean chewed his lip, his eyes ever still shut.

"It's okay. Just…just…whenever you feel like giving up, and giving into whatever that asshat wants, you keep going. Just say no one more time, alright?"

"Oh-okay."

"Cas, it'll-"

"No, NO! DEE-HEEAAAN!"

"CAS?"

"The longer you take to get here, the longer I get to make Castiel suffer." Dean held the phone away from his ear, startled by the horrendous scream that emitted from the speaker. Sam's eyes grew.

"Hurry, hurry." Dean could hear the smile in his voice as the line went dead.

"FUCK!" Dean bellowed, throwing the phone across the room and not caring if it broke. He took out the lamp and the card table in his rage before Sam grabbed his shoulders, dodging a punch.

"Dean, Dean! Calm down, we'll find him," he assured, nodding.

"You don't understand, Sammy," Dean said, chest heaving, face red. "Zachariah likes torturing almost as much as Alastair did. He…he won't show Cas any mercy."

"C'mon, Dean, how bad can it get?"

"Being human sucks, Sam. And Zachariah knows it."

* * *

Zachariah put the phone back in his pocket and looked down at Castiel, who shot up in another instant, yelping into the gag, standing on his tip toes.

"So, Castiel," he grinned. "How do you like the dark?"


	13. Humanism

13

**Humanism**

I didn't like doing this. In fact, I _hated_ doing this. I didn't want to watch my little brother be hurt like this. I didn't like watching him scream or tears trek down his cheeks. I didn't like it at all.

This wasn't part of what I agreed to. I agreed to help Zachariah kidnap him. Fine. I didn't agree to this.

I had to stand by and watch while he was forced to strip in front of us. I was repulsed by how they laughed and snickered at him. Castiel was innocent. He had not sinned in his human life, no matter how short it had been. Well, unless you count lusting for a whopping five seconds. But I'm not Catholic.

That raw edge in his voice when he spoke to Dean Winchester made my chest ache. He was my, our brother, and I was the only one that seemed to remember that. Well, William did, but he has no means to do anything about it.

Zachariah demanded Ezekiel and Abraham to take him to the black hole we had found earlier. I think it used to be a freezer.

He'd been in there for a few hours. I was ordered to stand outside the door…and listen. He screamed at nothing, cried from fear and pain. The poor thing… He was so terrified. I shut my eyes, leaning my head against the door.

"Are you alright?" William said, walking down the hall toward me.

"_Deeeaaaan…help me! Help me, plehease!_" He sobbed through the door. I looked at the ground for a moment.

"This isn't right, William," I said. "What has he done to deserve this?"

"He disobeyed," he said matter-of-factly, tossing his head so his dark hair was out of his face.

"So his disobedience as an angel makes it right to punish him as a human? I don't think that's right. He can't take punishment like he could when he was one of us," I said pointedly. He rubbed the back of his neck, his tell. He knew I was right.

"Look, Saphriel, the point is, we have to follow orders. And I'm here to tell you Zachariah wants him back out here. He wants you to bring him," he mumbled. I shut my eyes, sighing.

"Alright, alright, I'll be there in a minute," I sighed. When he left I turned to the door, carefully pushing it open. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard before walking in, snapping my fingers, making a water bottle appear in my palm. He was my brother.

* * *

So dark. So cold, so, so cold. I had crawled into a corner, hiding my face. I could see things, horrific visions of monsters in the darkness. Bright red eyes, snarling teeth, coming for me. My fevered face pounded, the rest of my naked body shivering violently.

I screamed at the demons that emerged from the pitch black in front of me. I could hear a hellhound snarling next to my ear and no matter where I went it was right there. I cried for Sam and Dean to help me. I buried my face in my knees, huddled together as tightly as I could get myself, sobbing.

I could hear Zachariah's laugh echoing all around me even though he wasn't there. I thought I might be going insane. But it all seemed so real.

Suddenly light blinded me, horrible light that made me shrink away even further, hurting the bullet wound in my shoulder.

"No, no, no," I whimpered. "Please…"

"Hey, hey, easy," it was a voice I recognized. A woman's. Hands touched my face, coaxing my chin, and I was too weak to fight them off. "Castiel, it's alright." I looked up at her, my eyes growing.

"Saphriel."

* * *

My heart cracked right in two when I saw those eyes. Those eyes filled with so much confusion, agony and innocence. The poor thing… Lord, what were we doing?

"Yes, Castiel, it's me," I said, trying to smile a little. I glanced at the ragged hole in his shoulder, my chest taking another blow. His lips trembled as he tried to speak.

"A-are you gonna hurt me t-too?" He whimpered.

"No," I shook my head. "No, I'm not going to hurt you." I opened the water bottle I was holding and tipped it to those shaking lips. He drank hungrily, downing the whole thing. I wiped a tear from his cheek, startled at how hot his face was.

"Castiel, are you sick?" I asked. He nodded, still shaking. What more damage could we do? This wasn't fair. He didn't even have the chance to fight back. It made sense why he was screaming while he was in here. His fever was making him hallucinate. "Alright, I…I have to take you to Zachariah."

"Please!" He choked, those eyes _begging_ me not to take him. "D-don't make me go back. H-help me, please…"

I had no choice. I didn't. I took the gag that was hanging around his neck and replaced it back in his mouth. He started to cry, his eyes still pleading with me, leaking tears. I took the chain between his cuffs in my hand and started to drag him out, the load almost weighing nothing. He fought feebly, sobbing, not making this any easier.

I think it was then that I swore that no matter what, I would get him out of here. I wouldn't let him be killed by the monster I called brother. I may not have been human, but I had a soul.

* * *

Saphriel dropped him in the middle of the large room he had been in previously. He brought himself to his knees, trembling hard.

Zachariah smirked.

"So, Castiel, tell me, are you afraid of the dark?" Castiel nodded in his naïve purity, being completely honest because he didn't know better than to lie. Saphriel looked away.

His cuffs disappeared. The chains were back, wrapping around his raw wrists, hauling him to his tip toes again.

"Let's find out what else you're afraid of, huh?" An evil smile spread across his face. He cocked his head.

"SAAAAAA-AAAAMMM!"


	14. God Help the Outcasts

14

**God Help the Outcasts**

"SAAAAAA-AAAAMMM!"

"Your friends can't help you right now, Castiel."

"NOO! OHH! PLEASE! PLEAASE!"

"What's the matter, Castiel?" Zachariah laughed. "I thought you were cold!"

My skin was on fire. I could feel it, all over me, blistering my skin with the intense heat. It dried and cracked, seared my throat, hotter than the fires of Hell. I writhed in the chains that burned orange with heat. I shook my head, sweat drenching my body, stinging the violent burns. I sobbed so hard I thought my chest was going to burst open.

Blisters formed on my lips and shoulders as my skin churned and bubbled. If this was even close to what Dean had been through in Hell I don't know how he made it through the first day.

"NO, NO, NO, NO, PLEASE! OH PLE-HEASE! Ohhohhh…" My throat was too hot, too blistered to make much noise anymore.

"What's wrong, Castiel?" Zachariah mocked. "Too hot?" I nodded, screaming, my eyes shut tight.

Then suddenly I was freezing. The pounding in my head and face stayed, but goosebumps so horribly painful I screamed even louder rose all over my body. The cold replaced the heat, stinging, shaking me violently. I couldn't huddle together. I couldn't even stand on the ground fully.

Oh god…make it stop…someone….

My tears froze to my face, sweat to my body. It was _so_ cold…my bones were frozen, my chattering lips were blue.

Then it stopped. I looked down at myself, expecting to see something from the trauma my body had just endured. There were no burns, only goosebumps and blood from the still throbbing gunshot wound. It wasn't real. I bowed my head, crying at my own stupidity and humiliation.

"Hmm…" Zachariah pondered. "What next?"

* * *

I tried to keep my face as blank as possible watching all of this. How everyone could sit here, stony face, staring down their noses at him while he trembled and sobbed, his bright, blood-shot eyes begging for someone, _anyone_ to help him? How?

The poor thing was gasping, his breathing uneven and shaky, waiting for Zachariah to do something else. My superior smiled. "Castiel, have you ever wondered what it's like to be stabbed?" Castiel shook his head, his innocence practically pouring out of his eyes.

"I see," Zachariah smiled.

Castiel's breath hitched in his throat, a strangled cry tearing from his throat. His already wide eyes somehow got wider. He went paler, leaving his red and fevered cheeks to stand out even more. I tried to keep my face as stoic as I possibly could as I looked at the knife that appeared in his stomach.

He looked down, stomach contracting over the blade as he tried to breathe properly. Blood leaked from the wound. He coughed, blood falling past his lips, his breath rapid, shaking and wet.

I think it hit him then, the pain. He started to sob, still unable to breathe properly. He gasped and shuddered, crying. Blood came faster as he coughed over and over again.

"P-pl-pl-" He tried to speak, but he gagged. So much blood.

"Does it hurt, Castiel?" Zachariah grinned, turning his hand over. The blade twisted. Castiel screamed.

"STOP!" I bellowed. Zachariah spun around, staring at me in disbelief. "I…You're going to kill him." There was a moment, a very tense moment of pure and utter silence in which I was terrified.

"You're right," he said, turning. The knife disappeared, leaving only a shallow gash. "Besides, I think it's time to find out if Castiel likes small spaces."

* * *

"What are we gonna do?" Dean said for at least the hundredth time.

"We can't track my phone we already tried that," Sam huffed. "The only thing we can do is wait for Zachariah to call us again."

Dean slammed his hands down on the rickety table, standing. "DAMN IT!" He bellowed.

His phone went off and he jumped, snatching it up and opening it as quickly as he could. "Alright you son of a bitch, where-?"

"Dean?" A voice, a woman's voice, said. Dean sighed.

"Annabelle," he breathed, his hand over his eyes. "Hey."

"Um, is Cas around? He said his phone got water-logged and told me to call you if I wanted to talk to him."

"Uh, Annabelle, Cas, uh, he's not feelin' too good right now. I'll have him call you when he's felling better, alright?" He assured, trying not to sound as stressed as he felt.

"Oh, god, is he alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine," Dean said, nodding even though she couldn't see him.

"You're a damn liar," she said. "How bad is it?"

"It, it's pretty bad," he admitted.

"Is there anything that I can do?" She asked, genuine worry in her voice, worry that you couldn't fake.

"I'll tell you what," Dean said. "He's been sleeping pretty much for the past couple of days, but I'll give you a call as soon as he's lucid enough to talk to you, okay?"

"Would I be able to come see him? I…God, this is stupid, I'm really worried about him and I don't know why." She said quietly.

"It'll be alright Annabelle," Dean assured. "Cas'll be just fine." He hoped, he prayed, he begged whoever might be listening.

* * *

He opened his eyes, peeled them open, more so. The air around him was hot, and just getting hotter as he continued to breathe. His face rejected the steamy air, but the rest of his body, wracked with chills, welcomed it.

It was black, and whatever space he was in was small, compressed. He put his hands out in front of him, only to hit solid surface a few inches above him when he did.

He pushed on it, whimpering softly, praying that he wasn't in what he thought he was. That's when he heard it. The soft, rattling sound as dirt piled on top of the coffin. He was being buried alive.

"H-help…"


	15. Angels Fall Sometimes

15

**Angels Fall Sometimes**

He put his hands over his face, shaking. "No, no, no, please!" He moaned. "D-don't leave me here please…"

So dark, so compressed. He couldn't breathe already, let alone this. His head hurt, and this was only making it worse. He trembled, so scared…

"Please… Let me out. Please, let me out," he whimpered, pressing on the lid above him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please…"

Only that horrible sound of dirt hitting dirt met him. He sobbed softly, gingerly touching the open gash on his stomach. He hissed in pain, crying harder. It had been much worse earlier, fatal. Not now. Now it would only hurt.

He could still feel that icy blade in his stomach, choking him, making his muscles contract around it, stifling his breath.

"Dean…" he begged the black air. "Dean, please help me…"

_No, no he can't help me,_ he told himself. _If he does then he'll get hurt. Zachariah will hurt him. He'll make them say yes… No, no, Dean, don't help me. Stay as far away from me as you can._

He was alone. Completely and totally alone. That made the pain in his chest worse. He turned his face into his uninjured shoulder, sobbing so hard he was sure whoever was burying him could hear him. He didn't realize that he was using air, air that he had precious little of.

But he knew nothing about this. He didn't understand, just like so many other things.

He cried for fifteen minutes before he realized that it was getting harder and harder to breathe. The air tasted stale, feeling thin. He started to shake, his breath coming rapidly, just hurting his situation more. When he was sure his lungs were going to burst he spoke.

"Please, please, let me out!" He screamed, well, tried to. "Please!"

"_There's only one way out…"_ A voice in his head hissed.

"Please-"

Before he could say another word, the lid of the coffin disappeared, dirt blanketing him in an instant.

* * *

"Saphriel," Zachariah barked.

"Yes sir?"

"If Castiel comes out of that dirt hole someone needs to be there. Wait for him. William will be here as well if you need help," he said, sounding bored. "I have some business to tend to upstairs, the others will be with me."

"Yes sir."

He was gone a second later.

I sighed running my fingers through my hair. _If_ he gets out. IF? No, no I would make damn sure that he was out.

"You're going tog dig him out, aren't you?" William mumbled behind me.

"Yes," I said bluntly.

"You shouldn't."

"Are you going to stop me?" I yelled, turning around. He said nothing. I had my answer.

A beat later and I was in front of that dirt pile, staring intently, looking for some sign of movement. I saw it. Barely, but I did.

I plunged my hand into the dirt, my fingers searching for purchase. When my hand wrapped around another my other arm went in too.

"It's alright, Castiel!" I yelled. "Just hang onto me, alright?" I wasn't sure he'd heard me. Bu his hand squeezed mine a little tighter. I pulled, one hand holding his, the other on his arm.

He coughed violently when his face broke the surface, gasping raggedly for air. He fell into my arms, choking, dirty. I lowered myself to my knees, hugging him.

"Shh, it's alright. It's alright. Shh…" I soothed holding him close. His body was decorated in brown smears from the dirt, dust in his hair. He flinched away from the harsh sunlight, burying his face in my chest.

"N-n-no more," he pleaded. "Pl-please. N-no more. No, no, no…please…"

"Shh, hush now. It's alright. It's okay."

He'd almost suffocated, I could tell by simply looking at him. He was terrified, traumatized and in a lot of pain.

"P-please, Saphriel," he begged, his innocent face turned up to mine. "L-let me g-go. Please… I-I'm sorry for what I've d-done. Please…"

"Shh… hush, hush," my chest hurt. "Castiel, I swear to you, I will get you out of here. I promise. If it's the last thing I do, I will save you. I just need some time, alright?" He just cried harder.

"I-I want t-to see h-her again," he gulped. "I w-want to see Annabelle." That just made it worse. He was in such agony, pain that he couldn't endure, fear that was overwhelming him.

He shook in my arms, bloodshot, swollen eyes closed. I shut my eyes for a second and then we were back in the warehouse. Goosebumps appeared on his fevered skin. His whimpers grew louder.

I snapped my fingers. A blanket appeared from nowhere, tucked around him tight. He went into a coughing fit, huddling as close together as he could get, desperate to be warm.

"Sleep, Castiel," I said gently. That's what he needed right now. Sleep. He was so exhausted. He shut his eyes, his head in my chest. After a moment his breathing slowed and evened out. Fast asleep.

"It's alright, little brother," I whispered. "It'll be alright soon. Shh…"

"You'd better tie him back up before Zachariah gets here," William said. I looked up at him, angry.

"You sound like a child that doesn't want to get caught by the teacher," I growled.

"I like this as much as you do," he admitted. "I didn't sign up for this. But…but orders are orders. If we were supposed to question them we wouldn't have them."

"Then why are you letting me get away with this?" I challenged. His dark eyes rose from the floor, meeting mine.

"I don't have an order that says stop Saphriel from helping Castiel."

Almost and hour later William came back.

"He's coming."

I looked down at my sleeping brother. I didn't want to wake him. It was all the peace he had gotten in the past two days. But there was nothing I could do.

"Castiel," I shook him lightly, snapping, making the blanket disappear and the chains lower. He opened his eyes slowly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I put the cuffs on his wrists, heart wrenching as his tired eyes went wide.

"Please, please, no," he croaked.

"Shh…I know, I know, it's alright. Shh…it's okay. I'm so sorry." The chain lifted him slowly until he was standing on his toes one again. I picked up the gag from the ground and tied it around his mouth. He shook his head, sobbing, begging words lost in the fabric. It felt like I'd been punched in the gut as I looked into his eyes. He didn't deserve this. No one who looked this innocent deserved this.

I touched his cheek before turning away, standing in front of him like I was guarding him.

I kept my face blank as I listened to him cry, but on the inside, my heart was breaking.

-Oh, poor thing :( Reviews please-


	16. With a Broken Wing

16

**With a Broken Wing**

"NO MORE! PLEASE! PLEEAAASEE!"

The chain dropped him again, submerging him in the black, freezing water tank underneath him once more.

He screamed silently, nothing but bubbles coming out of his mouth. He was pulled up again, his coughing fit violent. He sobbed hard, shaking, chilled to his bones.

"P-p-please," he shuddered. "N-n-n-no m-more." He didn't like the water enough as it was. He'd almost died in it once before, and it had been much warmer than this, far less menacing. Warm…he didn't even remember what that was...

Zachariah grinned. "Aw, what's wrong, Cas? Don't want to go for a swim?"

"N-no, no, PLEEEAAAASSEEEE!" it was no use. He was dropped again and roughly yanked up by his bloody wrists.

The angel snapped his fingers and the tank disappeared, changing back into the concrete it was before.

Saphriel looked at him in silent agony, wishing there was something she could do right now. She did nothing as the other angels around her laughed and jeered in whispers to each other.

She was disgusted at their behavior, like lowly school children at this poor man's pain.

"Alright," Zachariah said to the others. "Let's go. William, keep watch outside."

Saphriel hid her despair. That meant she couldn't stay here with him. She looked at the broken, crying man, deeply saddened.

She locked her eyes with William as she went, hoping that he would understand what she was trying to convey.

A blink later and they were gone.

The room was nearly silent, Castiel's sobs echoing through the room.

William stared at the floor for a moment, unsure of what he should do, trying to decide if he should help or not.

He couldn't help but feel bad for him. He knew he must've been in a lot of pain, and scared, though he had never really experienced those things himself.

He stepped forward, flicking his wrist so a piece of bread appeared in his hand. He stopped a few inches in front of him, feeling out of place.

Castiel looked up, whimpering, trembling. William chewed his lip awkwardly, tearing off a piece and offering it to him. Castiel looked from the food to William, wary.

"You hungry?" William mumbled. "There's nothing wrong with it, I promise."

Slowly, Castiel leaned forward, opening his mouth a little. William fed it to him and continued tearing the bread into pieces until he had eaten all of it.

"Saphriel will figure out a way to get you out of here," he promised. "She won't let you die."

"Th-th-thank you," Castiel choked. William nodded, still feeling as if he shouldn't be there, turned and headed for the door.

Castiel cried freely in the empty room, his head bowed, so scared, so alone.

He missed his friends, he missed Annabelle. He missed not feeling so awful. He sobbed for what felt like hours in this freezing place, wishing he could have his clothes back for just a little while.

Suddenly someone touched his face. He jerked away, whimpering, begging.

"No, no, no, please!" He sobbed. "D-don't hurt me!"

"Hey, hey, easy, Cas." No, no it couldn't be. He looked up, hardly able to believe it.

"D-Dean." He smiled at him, touching his cheek.

"I'm here, buddy, it's alright," he said gently. "I'm gonna get you down alright? We're gonna get you out of here."

Castiel looked over his shoulder, at Sam, registering he was there.

"D-Dean, Z-Zachariah-"

"I know, I know, it'll be alright." He dug a paperclip out of his pocket and set to work on the shackles.

"We already talked to him," Sam said, looking detached.

"But we said no," Dean assured. Still smiling, trying to keep him calm.

Sam glowered at the back of his brother's head, looking murderous.

Before Dean could do anything else, Sam pulled out his gun, aiming for his back, and fired.

"DEAAAN!" Castiel screamed, fresh tears in his eyes. Dean's eyes went wide. He coughed, face pale, blood gushing from his mouth.

Castiel's innocent eyes watched the life leave Dean's. He collapsed almost in sow motion, eyes still wide open, staring up at nothing. Dead.

"NOOO!" He sobbed, his heart ripping. "DE-HEAAN, NOOOO!" He looked at Sam, who was grinning. "HE'S YOUR BROTHER!" He screamed, his chest aching from the magnitude of his cries. Sam laughed.

"He's not my brother," he chortled. "You are."

"No," Castiel gulped. "No, no, y-you can't-"

"Oh, but I am."

Castiel fell to his knees, right in front of Dean, terrified.

"Goodbye, Castiel." And he was gone.

Castiel looked at his dead friend, hardly able to believe what he had just witnessed. His bloodied fingers went to Dean's eyelids, closing them gently.

"Dean…" He choked. He collapsed on him, sobbing into his shirt.

He shuddered, crying harder than ever, completely shattered. In an instant, Dean had been taken away from him. Sam had said yes to Lucifer, and his hope was gone. Totally gone. He didn't know what he was going to do.

So he cried. Dean was already cold…

"Dean, no…" He sniffed, his burning tears seeping into the hunter's shirt. "C-come back…come back, pl-please…" But no such thing happened. Dean remained still and just got colder as the hours ticked by. Castiel sobbed on.

* * *

Zachariah sent me back to the warehouse, finally. I couldn't have been more thankful. Castiel was leaving, he was leaving right now, damn the consequences.

I passed William without saying a word. I walked into the large room where Castiel was being kept, expecting to see him still hanging there.

Icouldn't have been more wrong.

He was on his knees, bent over a body, crying into its' shoulder.

"Castiel?" She walked toward him. He didn't hear her.

Then I saw the face of the body. Dean Winchester. I understood now.

"Oh, God," I breathed. I knelt down next to Castiel, damning Zachariah to the lowest point of Hell. "Castiel, Castiel, look at me," I begged, coaxing his face up.

If I thought his eyes were heart breaking before, it was nothing compared to now. The wind left my lungs as I looked at him.

"H-he killed m-my friend," he whimpered. "H-he was m-m-my friend."

"No, no, Castiel, Dean is fine!" I said, touching his cheek. "What you saw wasn't real. It wasn't real, I swear. Dean is alright."

His ever-tormented eyes looked from me to "Dean's" corpse.

"Shh…" I soothed. "Zachariah tricked you, look." I snapped my fingers and the "body" was gone.

"No!" He gasped, looking down at where Dean should have been, his eyes begging her for mercy. "No, b-bring him b-back, please! Pl-please-"

"Castiel, it's not _real_," I held his face in my hands, gaining his attention. "You have to believe me. Have I lied to you yet?" He shook his head. "Then why would I now?" He just looked at me. "You believe me?" he nodded.

"Alright, I'm going to get you out of here, alright? You're leaving right now." I took the cuffs from his wrists damning the consequences I might receive for this. I helped him stand on shaky legs, making sure he could walk.

"Can you run?" I asked. He nodded. I snapped my fingers again. His clothes appeared back on his body. I saw relief flood his face. "Okay, Castiel, I'm going to make sure they can't find you, alright?" I touched his ribs. He cried out, doubling over. He screamed. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. I sighed, tired from all that I had used up.

I held his shoulders. "Listen to me," his beaten, weary, fevered eyes looked at me, in agony. "When I open that door," I pointed to the one on the opposite wall, the one where William wasn't standing, "you run. You run as fast as you can away from here, alright?" He nodded.

"O-okay." God, he was so scared.

"I would send you somewhere safe, but…but I'm not strong enough to. I'm not strong enough to heal you either," I felt so terrible for leaving him like this. Sick, hurt, scared. But he had to leave, he had to run. He had to get away.

"When you can't run anymore call Sam and Dean," I said, pushing the phone into his hand that had taken me this long to get. He nodded again, tears still in his eyes. I could tell that he still wasn't sure if Dean was alive or not.

"They're g-going to kill you, a-aren't they?" He asked, crying. Why the hell was he worried about _me_?

"Don't worry about me." I shook my head. "Just get the hell out of here." I led him over to the door, wondering just how far he could make it before he collapsed. "Castiel, if you can't run, just tell me."

"I c-can," he shivered. "Th-thank you." I hugged him, feeling the heat of his fevered face on my neck. I softly kissed his forehead.

"Run, little brother."

And he did.


	17. Amazing Grace

17

**Amazing Grace**

I staggered through the streets, trying not to run into anyone. My clothes were wet from my skin touching them, making my body ache and shiver painfully. I cried while I ran, I couldn't help it. All of these people did nothing to help me.

I fell on the hard sidewalk many times, and each one no one offered to help me stand. They treated me as if I were a leper, and that just made me cry harder. I didn't know where I was, or where I was going, but I would do as Saphriel asked and run until I couldn't run anymore.

I started coughing, trying to stumble to a halt. I fell right into someone's chest.

* * *

I'd been walking down the sidewalk, headed for the pizza parlor down the street. I saw people headed in the other direction, looking irritated, some shaking their heads.

"He'll run into a cop at some point," one man said. The woman next to him nodded.

"The nerve," she spat, looking disturbed. "I mean who acts that way in the middle of the street?"

"Let's not dwell on it."

I frowned.

What the hell were they-?

"Oh!"

Someone fell face first into my chest. I gasped, knees bending to support the sudden weight. I looked down at the man, who was coughing and shaking violently, his shirt soaked in water and blood.

"Hey, hey, easy," I said.

"I'm s-sorry," he said, trembling arms pushing himself off of me, head bent, still coughing.

"It's alright, it's okay, hey," I coaxed his face up. "Is there someone-" I stopped, looking into those beautiful eyes, my heart stopping, breath ceasing, stomach turned to a block of ice. "Cas?"

"A-Annabelle?" We just looked at each other for a moment. He hugged me as tight as he could, sobbing harshly. "Annabelle…" He moaned.

"Cas!" I hugged him, trying to get my bearings. "Cas, what the hell happened to you?" He just cried. Oh god, that was a horrible sound. It made my chest ache to listen. And his eyes, oh those big blue eyes filled with such horrible agony. It broke my heart.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay," I shushed. "It's alright. I'm gonna take you to a hospital, alright?" He shook his head, hard.

"No, no, no, p-please," he begged. Oh god, don't look at me like that, honey. "N-no hospital."

"Why?" I asked, exasperated. He started crying again. I couldn't take much more of this. "Okay, okay, baby, no hospital. It's alright. Shh… What about the police?" He shook his head again. I was going to kill Sam and Dean. They said he was alright!

"Alright, alright, shh," I held the back of his head, paying no attention to the bystanders watching us. "Okay, okay, I'm gonna get you out of here, alright? Shh…" I waved my arm out, flagging the nearest cab down. "It's gonna be alright, shh…it's okay, it's okay."

I got him into the car, feeling him sob in relief at the warmth that was in it. His face was so hot. He definitely had a fever. At least Dean had told me that part.

He was shaking so hard, terrified.

"Uh," the cab driver said, looking at us in his mirror. "Hospital?"

"No," I said, giving him an assuring smile. "Not as bad as it looks. He's just shaken up." He nodded.

"Police station, then?"

"Huh, what're they gonna do?" I chuckled. He laughed too.

"Good point," he agreed. "So, where to?" I rattled off my address and turned my attention back to Cas.

"Hey," I whispered, meeting his eyes, still beautiful, bright with fever and bloodshot. "It's gonna be alright, okay? You're gonna be just fine." I kissed his forehead, wiping tears from his cheeks. He couldn't stop crying. It hurt to see. His innocence had been exploited, naivety used against him. Poor baby…

I held him close, understanding why he was so cold. He clung to me like he never wanted to let go.

"Shh…" I soothed. "It's okay. We'll be home soon. Shh…"

"I-it's so co-cold," he shivered. I stroked his hair, nodding.

"I know, I know, baby. Shh…"

"I d-don't wanna be cold an-anymore," he sobbed. "It's s-so cold."

"You won't be, sweetie," I whispered. "Just wait a little while longer."

I paid the cabbie and got him into my apartment, lying him down on the bed.

"Okay, honey, I've gotta get you out of those wet clothes."

Oh god, that face. I felt my heart break just looking at this poor thing. He wrapped an arm around his waist, , holding a bit of the shirt in his hand, looking so horribly sad it was surprising that angels didn't fall out of the sky, dead just from that look.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting next to him. Tears leaked out of his eyes, causing my gut to twist in knots.

"D-do I have to?" He whimpered. I chewed my lip, stifling my own tears. God, those eyes…

"Honey, I have to get you out of those wet clothes. You're gonna get even more sick if I don't," I said softly.

"B-b-but, I…I just got them back," he said so quietly I barely heard him. The innocence in his eyes killing me. God, what sick son of a bitch could do this to him?

I couldn't do it anymore. I hugged him close, trying not to hurt him. "Shh, honey, it's okay. I'll get you more clothes, alright? I promise. But I have to clean you up." He nodded, his blistering cheek in my neck.

"Shh…"

I got him into the bathroom, turning on the shower. Judging by how hot he felt, I should probably put him in cold water. But I couldn't do that to him. Not when he was looking at me like that.

I peeled his shirt off of him, gasping.

There was a ragged hole in his shoulder that had to be infected. My wide eyes met his.

"Cas…baby did you get shot?" He shut his eyes, whimpering, his head leaning against my shoulder.

There was another gash in his stomach, not deep enough to do serious damage, but in need of stitches, also infected.

He was decorated with severe bruises. His fingernails were torn, a couple nails missing, like he'd tried to claw his way out of something. His wrists were as raw as his voice, ribs, face and arms bruised. Good god, who would do something like this to someone so innocent?

I touched him gingerly, carefully pulling him into the floor of the shower I let him rest against my chest as water ran over the both of us.

He gasped, his breath shuddering.

"What's wrong?" I asked, frantic. "Too hot?" He shook his head, crying again, this time in relief.

"It-it's so warm…" I shut my eyes, swallowing hard, kissing his cheek. No, no there was no way I could've put him in cold water. I wouldn't be able to take it.

He hissed and whimpered as the water touched the infected wounds.

"Shh…" I still couldn't believe that this was happening. I thought that maybe he'd been in an accident, or that he was so sick he was in the hospital. Not this. Someone had done this intentionally. Someone had purposefully hurt him, tortured him.

Why? Why would someone do this to him? How could they look him in the face and hurt him like this?

"An-Annabelle?" He choked.

"Yeah?" I said, smiling at him. He brought his trembling lips to mine, sniffling. "I-I missed y-you."

I could've died right then and there. My heart took such a hit…

"I missed you too, Cas." I kissed him and resumed getting all of the blood and –oh my god- dirt off of him. Oh God…Sam and Dean…they didn't know…

-Cas TLC next chap!-


	18. Almost Home

-No Destiel here, folks, just buds-

18

**Almost Home**

I could see just how badly he'd been beaten now. The blood and dirt washed away, revealing the scrapes and bruises and the bullet wound in all its glory. His face was resting in my chest, eyes closed, fevered body shaking. His breath was labored and shaking.

"Shh…it's alright, Cas. It's okay." I washed his hair and cleaned him off as best as I could, but I didn't know how to take care of him. He broke into one of many coughing fits, hands trembling, painful tears welling in his eyes.

I didn't know what to do about this gunshot wound, or the deep gash in his stomach. I didn't know how to check for broken bones or what to do if they were. I didn't know why he wouldn't let me take him to a hospital. But those sweet, gentle eyes told me that I couldn't. I couldn't do that to him.

I had to call Sam and Dean. Something in my gut told me that they would know what to do, and that they knew who the hell did this.

I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around him as quickly as I could, rubbing his shoulders to keep him warm.

He shivered still, goosebumps rising on his exposed skin. He shut his eyes tight, whimpering quietly, coughing again.

"I know, I know, baby. It's alright. Shh…it's okay," I soothed. I dried him off, shushing him, stroking his cheek, whatever I could to make sure he was still alright before taking him out into my room and lying him down.

I covered him up, the blankets only at his waist, hating myself for making those tears and pain appear in his eyes.

"Annabelle," he croaked. "P-please…" I swallowed hard.

"Shh… Just a little longer, sweetheart. Just a little longer. It'll be alright, shh…" I pushed his damp hair back, rubbing his forehead. God his face was so hot. "I'll be right back, Cas." I stood quickly, running to the hall closet and snatching the thermometer, Vicks and NyQuil.

"Alright, honey, come here," I said, gently lifting his head, holding the thermometer. "Put this under your tongue, alright?" He frowned, his head cocking to the side a little.

"Why?" He croaked, coughing again. I smiled lightly. Even in this state, he was absolutely adorable.

"It's to see how high your fever is, okay?" I said, coaxing the thermometer into his mouth. I laid his head back down.

"I'll be back in just a second," I promised, running out of the room and coming back with a glass of water.

"I-it made a noise," he said shakily, looking scared.

"Oh, honey." I sat down next to him, taking the thermometer out. "It's alright; it's supposed to do that." He nodded but didn't look any less worried. I tried not to gasp when I saw the numbers on it. 105.2.

"Oh God," I breathed.

"Wh-what? Wh-what's wrong?" He trembled, coughing again. I looked down at him, into his bright, bloodshot eyes. He was so scared.

"Uh…your fever's really high, baby. But here's what I'm gonna do," I couldn't throw him back in that shower. I wouldn't put him through all of that again. It wasn't fair. "I'm gonna give you this medicine and it should help you feel better alright? It'll make your fever go down."

"What i-if it do-doesn't?" He shivered. I stroked his cheek.

"Don't you worry about that," I smiled. "You just worry about getting better, alright?" He nodded. I lifted his head again, giving him one of the large gel pills.

"Don't chew it!" I exclaimed, but it was too late. He grimaced, lips pursing at the bitterness. I couldn't help but smile. I gave him a drink of water to both get the medicine down and the taste out of his mouth before feeding him the other pill.

"Now just swallow this one, alright?" I said gently. He nodded, shaking lips welcoming the drink of water. I gave him the rest of the glass, telling him over and over that no one was going to take it from him.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay. Take it easy, honey. Shh… Easy." I stroked his fevered face, setting the empty glass on the table beside me.

I took some of the Vicks and put it on his chest, hoping to clear up his cough and ease the obvious tension in his chest as he struggled to breathe.

He gasped at the chill, sobbing once. "Shh, honey, honey, it's alright."

"It smells," he rasped. I smiled again.

"I know, I know," I said, combing his hair back with my fingers. "It'll help you breathe, okay?" I may not know how to deal with everything else, but I knew how to take care of someone who was sick.

I pulled the blankets over him, tucking them around his trembling form, kissing his forehead.

"Okay, I'm gonna call Sam and Dean, alright? They'll be able to get you better…right?" He nodded, shaking. "And, and they'll bring you clothes, too."

He leaned into my hand, a tear sliding down his cheek. My heart cracked yet again. "Shh, it's gonna be alright. I'll be right back, okay?" He nodded slowly, his eyes pained as he watched me go.

I waited until I was out in the hall to let my own tears fall freely. That terrible innocence in his eyes, that raw pleading in his shaking voice. What soulless son of a bitch could do something so awful to someone so innocent? How could they?

I sniffed, taking my cell phone from my pocket and redialed Dean's number.

"Annabelle, this isn't-"

"I found Cas. You have to come help him, I, I don't know what to do, he's hurt. Please, hurry the hell up. He needs you." There was a moment of what I assumed was stunned silence before Dean spoke.

"Uh, wh-where are you?"

* * *

I was lost in a haze. My whole body pounded, fever making everything look strange and my ability to think almost zero. I shivered under the covers, still hardly able to get warm. I wanted relief, mercy, but it had evaded me so far.

Flashes of the awful things that were done to me flashed in front of my eyes, making me whimper and try to hide in the pillow.

No more, no more, I can't take anymore.

She helped. Her soothing voice and gentle hands helped me more than I ever dreamed. Her skin was so soft, even the smell of her hair comforted me. I didn't want her to let me go. I remembered the pain when she let me go. I wouldn't tell her that. She got sad when I said those kinds of things.

So I lied there, alone, waiting for something to happen, praying for her to come back.

I slipped so far out of it I didn't see someone come in. I didn't feel them sit down on the bed. I _did_ feel their icy hand on my cheek.

"Ahn!" I cried, flinching away.

"Hey, hey, Cas, it's me!" I looked up, my swirling vision dizzying. "Shh, it's alright. It's me, it's Dean."

Tears overwhelmed me, making those odd sounds come from my throat again. "Dean!" I choked. He _was_ alive. He was okay! Saphriel wasn't lying, he was alright.

Dean pulled me into a hug, holding me securely. I clung to him as tightly as my weak fingers would allow, sobbing into his chest.

"Shh, it's alright. It's okay now. You're gonna be okay. Shh…"

I truly believed it now. Dean was here. Dean wouldn't let anything happen to me. He wouldn't let Zachariah hurt me again.

And in that embrace I felt something that I never had before. Home.

-And yet more TLC next chap!-


	19. God Help Us

-**NO SLASH!** Thank you!-

19

**God Help Us**

"Where is he?" Dean said as soon as he walked through the door, Sam directly behind him.

Annabelle looked murderous, tears on her face. "You guys think you could've mentioned _torture_?" She hissed.

"Annabelle-"

"What? Here I'm thinking he got hit by a car, or food poisoning, or he was in the hospital somewhere. But this? Who the hell would hurt him like this? How could someone…Were they mad at you, or what? 'Cause I know better than to think Cas did something to provoke something like this! Just tell me what the hell happened!" She was breathing hard, her face red, tears stagnant in her eyes.

Sam and Dean looked at each other, speaking silently before looking at her again.

"You're gonna wanna sit down, Annabelle," Sam said. "And you have to understand that what I'm about to tell you is the God's honest truth."

"I'm goin' back there with Cas," Dean said.

"Um, he, he's sick," she said quietly. "I mean, he's really sick. I gave him some medicine to try and break his fever but…but he's all cut up and, and I think he's been shot. I don't know how to help with that, I didn't know what to do and he wouldn't let me take him to a hospital and-"

"Hey," Dean said gently, holding her shoulders. "It's alright. I'll take care of him. He'll be okay." She nodded, sitting down on her couch across from Sam, ready for whatever he was going to dish out.

Dean walked down the hall, glancing inside each room, looking for Castiel.

He entered the bedroom when he found him, his eyes pained.

He was so pale. He was shaking lightly under the covers. Dean hoisted the duffel off of his shoulders, taking out the first-aid kit and a bottle of whiskey.

He carefully touched his face, trying to get an estimate of how high his fever was. He frowned at the intense heat.

"Ahn!" Castiel grimaced, flinching away, his eyes fluttering open.

"Hey, hey, Cas, it's me!"

* * *

I hugged him close, looking down at his now bare torso, deciding what the hell I should do.

His shoulder had stopped bleeding, the damp scab over it and the skin around it bright red with infection. I didn't know if the bullet was still inside him, or if he would know if it was. It didn't matter though. No matter what, it was gonna hurt like hell.

He was covered in bruises. His wrists were swollen and battered too. God, that son of a bitch was gonna be sorry for this…

"Shh…it's alright, Cas. It's okay. You're gonna be alright." I carefully laid him down, taking out the peroxide, gauze, needle, and thread and unscrewed the cap on the whiskey. "Okay, Cas," I said, dreading what I was about to do. "I'm gonna have to take care of that shoulder, alright?" He nodded. "Cas is…is the bullet still in there?"

"N-no," he trembled. I nodded.

"I'm gonna have to make sure, okay? It's not gonna feel good. The next few minutes are gonna hurt, buddy. But hey, when I'm done it'll feel better, alright?" He sniffed and nodded, watery eyes terrified. I winced, touching his forehead. "It'll be alright, Cas. I promise."

I felt around his shoulder, trying to see if I could find the bullet. Then again, Zachariah would make sure that whatever he did to Cas wouldn't kill him. At least not quickly. Cas whimpered and jerked weakly out of reflex. Shut his eyes, clenching his teeth, turning his face away.

"Shh, it's okay." I looked at the whiskey bottle wondering if Annabelle had given him anything. "Cas, did Annabelle give you any pills?" He nodded. "What was it?"

"I-I don't know."

"Alright, alright, what did they look like?"

"Th-they were blue. An-and they were gel." I nodded. NyQuil. I wouldn't be able to give him any whiskey. But I could use it to numb his shoulder.

"Okay, Cas. This is gonna hurt really bad, alright?"

I think re-opening it was the worst part. I gave him a washcloth to bite on, apologizing more times than I could count. I poured whiskey on it, squeezing his hand when he hissed, tears leaking out of his squinted eyes.

"Shh, I know, I know."

The peroxide was worse. He screamed into the rag, back arching. He collapsed a second later, breathing hard, sobbing softly.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Cas, I'm so sorry. I know it hurts, I'm so sorry." I gently touched his forehead, feeling horrible for what I was doing. "It'll be alright." He shivered again, eyes shut, lips trembling.

I had to stitch it closed, it'd get infected all over again if I didn't. I wrapped it tight to keep air off of it.

"Shh, alright, Cas, almost done. Shh…almost done."

I had to do the same thing to the gash on his stomach. He sobbed quietly when I took the cloth out of his mouth.

"Dean…" He moaned, sobbing into the pillow.

"Hey, hey, it's alright," I hugged him again. "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts. But that medicine should kick in soon and it'll make it stop hurting, alright?" He nodded miserably, body shivering against me.

"Okay, hang on just a sec, Cas," I said, reaching down and grabbing my duffel, since my clothes were the only ones that would fit him, and even then they were a little big.

I carefully got him dressed; putting a t-shirt on him even though I'd have to change those bandages in a few hours.

He hugged me tighter than I thought he could, crying into my shoulder. "Thank you, thank you…"

"Hey, hey, easy buddy. It's alright. Shh…" I let him cry, hugging him until the NyQuil kicked in and he fell asleep. I laid him back down, staying on the edge of the bed. If he had a nightmare someone needed to be there. There wasn't anything worse than waking up from something that scared you half to death alone. I would know…

I covered him back up, making sure he was warm enough and felt his forehead again. No change.

I sighed, running my hand over my face and licking my lips. I wondered how Sam was doin' with Annabelle.


	20. City of Angels

20

**City of Angels**

She sat there for a long time, hand over her mouth, not moving, barely blinking. She finally shook her head.

"This is insane," she said quietly. Sam nodded.

"I know," he said routinely. "But you have to believe me. I wouldn't lie about something like this."

"I didn't say I didn't believe you," she corrected. "I just said this is insane. I believe it. I mean, that would explain why he acts the way he does. Why he doesn't know things everybody knows. Or why he's never been with a girl. Or…or why he's so sweet. He's literally an angel," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. "Why the hell would his _brothers_ do something like that to him?"

"I told you-"

"It was rhetorical," she sighed. "God, he's so sweet… That poor baby." She shook her head again. "He has no idea how to deal with this, does he?" Sam shook his head. She looked down at her hands, sniffing again. "I think this just makes it that much worse. I mean, they did that to an angel for God's sake!" She shook her head, resting her face in her hands. "I thought angels were supposed to be the good guys."

"So did we," Sam admitted. "But, uh, turns out a lot of 'em are pricks."

"Man, I was just kidding about that angelic thing," she mumbled to herself.

They both looked up when Dean stepped into the room, heading to the open kitchen, grabbing baggies and dish towels before heading to the freezer.

"What's wrong?" Annabelle asked, worried about the answer.

"His fever's way too high," he said, shoving cubes into the small bags and wrapping them in the towels. "I just checked it and its almost 107." Her eyes grew wide.

"I'm not gonna toss him in the shower," he said, shaking his head. "That…that's just…it's torture. But puttin' these around him'll help." She nodded.

"Should I come with you?" She asked. Dean shook his head.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea," he said firmly. "'Cause he's not gonna like this, and you're not gonna like him crying. It'd cause less of a problem if it were just me."

"When can I see him?" She asked desperately.

"After he calms down," he assured. "He'll be alright. It'll just take a minute to get his fever down."

He disappeared back down the hall after getting a glass of water.

A few minutes later, Castiel was crying. Annabelle's knuckles were even whiter as her folded hands clenched, eyes shutting, chewing her lower lip.

"This sucks."

* * *

Dean looked down at the sleeping ex-angel, brows creased in pain. He didn't want to do this, but Cas might die if he didn't. He sighed, setting down the glass of water and resting six of the seven baggies in his lap.

He pulled the covers back, one hand on Castiel's forehead, thumbing it gently.

Castiel's eyes opened before Dean could move another inch. The cool air assaulting his sweltering skin was painful, making awful goosebumps twinge and his bones ache.

"Dean?" He croaked, sore throat back in full swing. "Wh-what are you d-doing with that?" Dean swallowed hard before answering, preparing himself.

"You're fever's too high, buddy," he said, smiling gently. "I gotta get it back down or something really bad is gonna happen, alright?"

"D-Dean, that's i-ice," he trembled, scared.

"I know, Cas. It's gonna hurt, but we've gotta get it down, alright?" He shook his head, tears welling in his bloodshot eyes.

"Bu-but I took medicine," he whimpered. "An-Annabelle said it would help." Dean shut his eyes for a brief moment before answering.

"I know what she said, and I thought it would help too, but it's not working, okay? It'll just be a minute." He moved to lift his head. Castiel jerked away from him, shrinking into the pillows, tears on his face now, making his headache all that much worse.

"No, no, p-please. I t-took medicine, I took medicine," he sobbed, shaking. Dean touched his forehead again.

"I know, I know. It'll be over soon, Cas. It's alright. Shh…" Castiel continued to cry.

Dean lifted his head, placing the baggie under his neck.

The angel's breath hitched in his throat before he cried harder, shaking his head.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay, I know it hurts. Shh…"

He placed one inside each arm, one in-between his legs, two under his knees and one under the small of his back.

He sobbed harshly, coughing several times from the effort. Dean grimaced at the pain he was causing his friend, hating that he couldn't even cover him up like he was begging him to.

"Please, Dean," he gulped. "P-please, just one. Plehease…" Dean fought his own tears, linking hands with his battered friend, shushing him and trying to tell him it was alright.

It took nearly a half-an-hour of this Hell before his temperature was down to 104, which was still pretty high, but not nearly as high as it had been.

"Alright, alright, no more," Dean said, taking the ice packs away as quickly as he could. "All done, okay?" The angel cried in relief, welcoming Dean's warmth as he hugged him.

"Shh, I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry." Castiel shook his head.

"Y-you're a good b-brother, Dean," he choked. "I w-wish you were m-my brother." Dean smiled a little.

"You don't have to be related to be brothers, Cas," he said softly. Castiel cried into his shoulder, shaking. He had brothers. And they were just as human as he was.

* * *

I walked into my room, at Dean and Cas.

Seeing Cas cry was gut wrenching, but there was something really sweet about seeing them hug. Not in _that_ way, in a brother way.

Dean looked over his shoulder at me; Cas opened his eyes.

"Annabelle," he choked, something in his eyes that I'd never seen before. Longing. Dean must've noticed it too. He carefully laid him back down, giving him a reassuring smile before standing and moving out of my way.

"Thank you," I said just loud enough to where he could hear me. He nodded.

"Take care of him." And he left the room.

I sat down next to him, glancing at the bandage on his shoulder and the gauze around his wrists. The poor thing…

I took his hand, stroking his cheek. "You feelin' better, baby?" I asked.

"Better…b-because you're here." I smiled. It was corny, yeah, but he really meant it.

"Wh-what was Sam telling you?" I swallowed hard, wondering if I should answer or not.

I spilled. I told him everything that Sam had told me.

He looked up at me when I stopped, horrified. "Y-you know?" He shuddered. I nodded. "Do…do you still…like me?"

"Oh, honey," I lifted him in my arms, cradling him close. "Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?" He sniffed, face in my shirt. "Cas, I like you a lot. And this…this doesn't change anything." I lifted his chin, kissing him gently, not caring if I got sick too.

"You need some sleep," I said. He squeezed me tighter.

"D-don't let me go," he begged, voice raw. I winced again, lying down with him.

He curled up against me, nuzzling his burning face in my chest, closing his eyes, looking peaceful for the first time since I had found him on that sidewalk.

I kissed the top of his head, running my fingers through his hair. "Just sleep, Cas." I held him for awhile, and it wasn't long before I fell asleep too.

-D'awww. More soon!-


	21. So Help Me God

21

**So Help Me God**

Castiel's sleep was fitful and full of nightmares. He woke up screaming once, clinging to Annabelle as tightly as he could.

"Cas, Cas, baby, what's wrong?" She exclaimed.

"N-not the dark, not the dark _please_!" He whimpered.

She flicked the lamp on, holding him close, eyes wide in worry, still scared from his sudden outburst. He cried in relief and fear.

"Shh," she soothed, kissing his forehead. "It's okay, honey. It's alright, don't cry." She frowned, feeling his forehead again and checking the clock. "Okay, you need more medicine, baby. I'll be right back, alright?"

He didn't want her to go. He sniffed a little when she left the room, shaking from the chill.

Dean came into the room, confusing him.

"Wh-where's Annabelle?" He trembled.

"She'll be back in a minute," he assured, sitting down next to him. He grabbed the first-aid kit, popping it open.

Castiel's eyes grew, tears welling in them. "Please," he choked, "D-Dean, please don't. I'll, I'll be good. I'll do an-anything, please."

"Hey, hey, easy," Dean soothed, frowning sadly. "You didn't do anything wrong, buddy. I'm not gonna hurt you. I just have to change the bandages, alright? It'll hurt a little, but it won't be nearly as bad as last time, okay?"

He was right. It did still hurt. Castiel still felt as if he were being punished.

"Shh, hey, hey, it's alright. Almost done, almost done," he assured, putting a hand on his fevered forehead.

Tears were falling steadily down his face when Dean finished.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm so sorry," he said sadly, gently lifting his head and giving him the Ny-Quil and a glass of water. He lied him back down, setting the glass on the table.

He shook his head, looking down at Castiel, sighing.

"Ya know, we should've left you there," he said coldly.

"Wh-what?" He trembled.

"I said how did you get out of there?" Dean said gently. Castiel frowned, confused.

"Saphriel. S-she saved me."

"Why?" Dean snorted, eyes icy and unforgiving once more. "Why the hell should she sacrifice herself for a worthless thing like you?" Tears sprang in the wounded man's eyes. Why was Dean being so cruel?

"I-I don't know," he breathed, shaking.

"I wouldn't have wasted my time on something so pathetic.

"Pathetic?" He whimpered.

"God you're so _stupid_," he hissed, grabbing his throat. Castiel gasped, his aching throat caving in as Dean squeezed.

"I should kill you now. All you've caused me and Sam is a headache. Dealing with your stupid ass is gonna get us killed." Castiel clawed weakly at Dean's crushing hands.

"A-Anna-" Dean squeezed even tighter to stifle him.

"She doesn't give a shit about you either. She sent me in here to do this."

"N-no!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas!" Dean exclaimed, his hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong? What's wrong, what are you seeing?"

Castiel looked up at him, confused and lost. Dean's eyes were warm and concerned once again, his hand nowhere near wrapping around his throat.

"Wh-what?"

"Hey, hey, easy, it's alright, shh… I think your fever's making you hallucinate. You're not pathetic, don't say stuff like that. Annabelle'll be here in a minute, okay?" He said, looking worried. Castiel started to cry, angry with himself once more for his stupidity.

"Shh, hey," Dean hugged him. "It's alright, Cas, don't cry." Castiel buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing.

"C-can I sleep now?" He choked.

"Yeah," Dean nodded, lying him back down. "Yeah, of course you can." The former angel shut his eyes, still crying. Dean's saddened frown deepened, pain in his eyes. He didn't understand.

"Can I come in?" Annabelle asked softly from the door, a bowl in her hands. Dean had offered to give Castiel the medicine because he needed to change his bandages anyway. He assured Annabelle that she wouldn't want to be there while he did. She agreed.

"Yeah," Dean nodded. Her face filled with concern when she saw Castiel.

"What happened?" She asked.

"His fever made him hallucinate," he mumbled, standing. She replaced his spot, setting the bowl down and rubbing Castiel's forehead.

"Shh," she soothed. Dean left quietly, rubbing his temples.

Castiel looked up at her, teary eyed. "Annabelle, help."

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay, baby. It's alright," she soothed.

"I-I, I don't understand," he whimpered.

"I know, I know," she said. "When you have a fever like that you see things that aren't real. It's your mind playing tricks on you. It's alright, baby. It's gonna be okay."

She helped him sit up, propping the pillows up behind him. She only had a small window before he fell asleep again to try and get some food in him. She took the still steaming bowl from the nightstand.

"Are you hungry, baby?" He nodded vigorously, his stomach giving a low growl. She touched his cheek, looking sad. "Honey, why didn't you say something?"

She carefully spooned some of the soup into his mouth. His lips shook around the spoon, the room's air making him cold, but the soup helped.

He wanted to eat much faster than Annabelle was letting him, but he guessed she had a reason.

Annabelle didn't want overwhelm his weary stomach. She also wanted to make sure he could keep it down. So he ate slowly.

It was awhile before she offered him some and he shook his head.

"Okay, baby," she said softly, setting the bowl aside. His eyes were drooping, opening and closing slowly "Shh, you should sleep, baby."

"W-will you stay with me again?" He gulped. "Please?"

"Aw, Cas," she kissed him, cradling his face. "Of course I will." She laid him back down, getting under the covers with him. She hugged him close, kissing his cheek. "Shh, sleep, baby. Sleep." His heavy eyes closed, nuzzling his face in her neck. She sighed, resting her cheek on the top of his head. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. It'll be better soon."

* * *

"WHERE IS HE?" Zachariah thundered, looking around the warehouse.

"I don't know," William said, thoroughly surprised. Zachariah spun on him, getting in his face.

"I know you don't, William," he spat. "You don't have the spine to do something so disobedient." He turned to Saphriel. "But _you_. _You_ know. _You_ let him go, didn't you?" I smirked.

"You can't prove anything," I said quietly. "I don't know how Castiel got away. And unless you want to kill me for no reason in front of everyone then by all means, go ahead."

"He stared at me for a beat before chuckling.

"If you didn't let him escape, then why is it impossible for me to sense where he is?" He challenged. My face remained stoic, but my heart stuttered a little. He grinned. "Then I think I _do_ have the right to kill you."

I nodded at the floor, smiling. Registering the blade in my sleeve.

"Then I suppose I should leave," I said calmly. I knew this would happen. I anticipated it. Maybe that's why I was smiling.

"Leave? You aren't-"

There was a flash of silver and red as I cut open my own chest. It hurt like a mother, but it had to be done. I reached inside before he had a chance to react, grabbing what I knew would be there. I took out the white, glowing substance that would send me reeling into humanity.

"NO!" Zachariah bellowed, taking a step toward me, reaching for me, diving more so. It was too late. And he knew it.

A brilliant light started to glow within me, growing brighter and brighter.

Humanity. I'd be a baby in less than a minute. Bring it on.


	22. You're My Angel

-**M **for sexiness. Kiddies, look away-

22

**You're my Angel **

Castiel was alright in a few days. His fever broke, sore throat vanished, fears and nightmares dying down as his sickness faded.

Annabelle was happy to see him alright again, back to blushing and smiling a little at the floor when she talked to him.

"God, you're cute," she grinned. He looked up at her through thick lashes, blue eyes peeking at her, cheeks pink. She leaned forward, lifting his chin and kissing him gently. He pulled away quickly, face beet red and looking as far away from Sam and Dean has he could. Sam smiled and shook his head. Dean smirked, nudging him in the side.

"We'll, uh, see you later Cas," he said, backing toward the door with his brother.

"Yeah," Sam nodded, trying not to laugh. "We'll leave you two alone." Castiel frowned, cocking his head to the side, confused.

"Why?" He asked. Annabelle giggled.

"Uh, just trust me, Cas," Dean said, winking. They were gone before they could ask another question.

"What did they mean?" He asked. Annabelle smiled.

"Shut up and kiss me." She grabbed his collar and yanked him toward him, meeting his lips. He gasped, shutting his eyes a second later. He held Annabelle to him, shaking hands on her back. She cradled his face in her hands, trying not to smile when she felt his cheeks grow hot.

"Is. This. Why. Sam. And Dean. Left?" Castiel asked between kisses.

"Uh huh." Annabelle nodded, kissing him again. Castiel's heart was fluttering, his stomach doing acrobatics he didn't even know were possible, something more powerful than anxiety in his gut.

She stood, still holding his face and taking her with him. His lips, so soft and timid, worked with hers', hands still shaking, heart thudding harder with each step closer to her bedroom, though he still had no idea why.

She looked up at him once they'd reached the room, making sure that beautiful innocence was still there. She smiled when she saw it. She never wanted that to go away, which is why she was hesitating.

"Cas, what…what do you want to do?" She asked softly. He looked at her, brow scrunched a little, like he was thinking, eye contact never being broken, making her knees feel a little weak.

"I…I want…to be closer to you than I've ever been close to anyone else. I…" He looked at the ground, as if embarrassed. "I w-want you to…to have my, my vir-"

She cut him off with her lips, heart aching at the raw sincerity in his voice. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him as close as she could get him.

She gently kissed his neck, making him gasp and shiver a little. He held onto her tighter and tighter as her kisses progressed. She kissed a certain spot a certain way and

"Oh!" He exclaimed, a feeling he'd never felt before jolting through him like lightning. Annabelle looked at him, curious.

"You okay?" She asked. He nodded quickly, swallowing hard.

"C-can you do that again?"

She smiled, unable to help it, and obliged. He gasped and shivered under her lips. She could feel his pulse gaining speed as she went, his fingers clenching the fabric of her shirt so tight his knuckles were white.

She pulled away, gently pushing him down on her bed. He looked up at her with those basins of chipped sky, gasping a little.

She knelt down in front of him, slowly tugging the t-shirt Dean had leant him over his head. He gasped as her hands gently ran over the smooth skin of his chest and back, lips on his collarbone.

He shut his eyes, gasping and breathing hard. She sat up straighter, looking at him. "You sure you're okay?" She asked. He looked scared, and rightfully so. He'd never felt this way, never experienced something like this. "Cas, honey, do you want to stop?" He shook his head, hard.

"Absolutely not," he breathed. "I'm…I'm just a little overwhelmed…that's all." She frowned a little, sitting next to him.

"We'll take it really slow, then, okay?" She said gently. He nodded, swallowing hard again. She kissed him softly, guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt. They were shaking almost violently, but she smiled at him reassuringly and he slowly pulled it over her head.

She lied down with him, kissing him again, thumbing his cheek, her other hand running languidly up and down his chest. His whole body was shaking now, cheeks flushed, lips kiss swollen.

"Cas, babe-"

He pulled her on top of him, kissing her deeply, hesitantly sliding his tongue between her lips. She gasped, eyes going wide for a moment before she relaxed.

_Like hell he's never done this before!_

She kicked off her jeans as quickly as she could, placing his hands on the clasp of her bra.

Clumsy, naïve fingers worked at it for about five minutes before he sighed. "This is impossible." She giggled, reaching back and helping him. "Of course, it works when _you_ do it." She laughed again, kissing him. He smiled back, just happy that she smiled.

She was kissing his neck again, the heat growing between them nearly unbearable. He dug his fingers into her back. She gasped, biting his neck out of reflex.

He nearly screamed.

She looked at him, eyes wide in surprise. "Are you okay?" She exclaimed. He swallowed hard, nodding.

"I-I don't know why I did that," he gulped. "B-but if you could do that again, uh- MMNN!" He bit his lip, hard when she bit him again.

They were kissing again. She tugged on the waistband of his jeans carefully sliding them and his boxers from his waist, tossing her own underwear away in the process.

He was shaking all over again, swallowing hard. She was kissing him again, gently, slowly, carefully.

"Are you sure?" She whispered. The last thing she wanted was for him to lose that innocence she saw in his eyes. She didn't want that to leave him, not ever. But if he was sure…

His eyes went unbelievably wide, gasping a loud, almost crying out. "Oh god…"

"You okay?" Annabelle asked, searching his eyes. He nodded, letting out a slow breath. He shut his eyes and swallowed hard before looking at her again.

"I'm okay," he nodded, shaking a little.

"Honey, if you want to stop, tell me," she said.

"I'll be alright."

"If you want to stop, tell me." He nodded again.

She kissed him, her hands still behind his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, eyes locked with his. He kept his hands on her back, gasping as she started to move.

She kissed him gently, moving slowly, trying not to overwhelm him. He gasped and whimpered in pleasure. She looked at his eyes, overwhelmed herself just by the look on his face.

His cheeks were pinked, a small sheen of sweat on his face. His heart thundered in his chest, pupils dilated and outlined with a thin strip of blue. He'd never felt like this, never been touched like this, not once in his thousands of years on Earth. He had no doubts now why Dean did this so much.

"Cas," she breathed. He shivered a little.

"A-Annabelle."

He buried his face in her neck, kissing her soft skin.

"Uh, uh, oh!" He whimpered.

"Shh…" she soothed, kissing his lips and stroking his cheek. "It's alright, honey. It's okay, shhshh…"

"I-I'm okay, I'm okay, don't stop. Please…" They moved faster, the heat and pleasure building between them.

Castiel felt something building in his stomach, something strange. He trembled harder, holding her body close to his.

"Wh-what's happening?" He asked shakily.

"It's normal," she breathed, kissing him to assure him. "It's okay, shh…"

Faster, faster, faster, hotter and hotter…

"CAS!"

"Oh, uhuh, ANNABELLE!" He gasped, chest heaving, body shaking hard. She lied down beside him, kissing him gently, caressing his damp cheek.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"Wh-what happened? Wh-what did I do?"

"It's normal," she assured. "That happens to everyone, it's okay."

Emotions caught up with him, his overwhelmed body going limp. He took a deep, shaky breath, looking at Annabelle. He was confused as to why there were tears in his eyes.

"Wh-why-?"

"Shh," she touched his neck, kissing him. "That's normal too, baby, it's alright." She pressed her forehead to his, looking deep into his eyes. She sighed in relief. His innocence was still there. "Are you okay?" He nodded.

"You're amazing," he breathed, blinking rapidly. "I, I just- I don't-"

"Shh…It's alright. You're okay. You can let it out, it's alright." He simply let one tear trek down his cheek. She wiped it away, kissing his face.

"It's alright, it's alright, baby, shh…" She hugged him close, cradling his face. "Rest, sweetie. I know you're tired."

"I don't want to sleep," he said softly.

"Why not?"

He wrapped his own arms around her, staring at her. "Because I want to be here…with you. I can't see you if I'm asleep." She smiled. His sweetness never ceased to amaze her.

"Okay," she said softly, resting her cheek on his chest.

She sighed. He was amazing, completely amazing.

Fifteen minutes later she looked up at him, smiling again. He was fast asleep. She shut her eyes, smiling contentedly, hoping this would never end.

A thought struck her then. She'd taken an angel's virginity. Oh she was sooo going to hell. She looked up at him again. Oh, it was sooo worth it.


	23. Revelations

23

**Revelations**

"Congratulations, dude," Dean grinned. "Uh, you did lose your virginity this time, right?" Castiel flushed, looking at the floor, nodding slightly. Dean chuckled, clapping him on the back.

"'Bout freakin' time," he remarked. Castiel's blush deepened.

"Dean, shut up," Sam snapped. Dean stuck his tongue out at him.

"Any ideas on why I'm human, or not?" He mumbled. The brothers turned to Bobby, who rolled toward them.

"Only thing I can think of is ya lost your faith, kid," he sighed. Castiel's brow furrowed. He looked at the floor. "I mean, all this did happen after you all found out God's stayin' out of this, right?" The trio nodded. "Angels are supposed to have faith in somethin', right? And for you to not have any mojo at all must mean you don't have faith in nothin'."

"So…what do I do?" He asked softly.

"Have faith," the older man said simply. Castiel pursed his lips.

"In what?" Bobby shook his head.

"That's up to you, kid."

Castiel shut his eyes, cursing that damned bar Annabelle worked out to Hell for taking her away from him. She'd be able to help him. They hadn't talked much about his celestial status, and he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want her to see him as an angel. He wanted her to see him as himself.

He swallowed hard. "I…I need some air."

* * *

I stepped out onto the street, walking into a brisk crowd, instantly being nudged and jostled for walking so slowly. I didn't notice. Or care.

Half of me wanted to consume an entire bottle of the hardest liquor I could find. I'd had this craving for quite some time. It dulled the pain, made the hole in my chest a little less ragged. It helped the abandonment feel a little less hollow.

How could I have faith when there was nothing to have faith in? Father would not help me, the apocalypse is at hand and we will most likely lose this pointless fight.

I shuddered as the memory of my dream. The white light, the bellowing thunder, the blood…

That was how it was going to end. We would perish. And there wasn't anything I could do to stop it anymore. I had no idea what to do.

I leaned against the wall, sniffing a little. Nothing…I had nothing.

The thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

Suddenly I was running down the street, pushing past the people that had pushed me. I knew something I could have faith in.

I burst into the bar, not caring about the strangers staring at me. The only thing that concerned me was those beautiful hazel eyes.

I hopped up and over the counter, landing right in front of her.

"Cas, what the hell are you-?" I kissed her, cutting her off, before she could finish.

"I'll cover for you," Nicole giggled.

Annabelle and I fell back into the hall, still kissing. It was good that we were out of sight from the onlookers and the patrons of this place.

Something strange happened inside me. I felt warmth building in my stomach and slowly, a white light started to emit from me.

* * *

Annabelle's eyes were wide when she saw the light. She didn't try to back away from him. In fact, she felt safer with him holding her, even though what was frightening her was coming from him.

They were bathed in warm, white light that filled the entire hallway.

She looked up at him when it died down. Immediately she could tell there was something different. It was in his eyes, his posture, his expression. Something was different, off. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not.

"Cas?" She whispered. He smiled warmly at her. "Cas…are…are you an angel again?" He nodded.

"I think so," he said truthfully. Even his voice sounded a little different.

"How?" She breathed, still in awe. He pushed her hair back.

"Because if it's one thing I have faith in, it's how I feel about you," he whispered. She broke into a huge grin. She chewed her lip. She couldn't tell if he was the same or not. What if…what if he wasn't who he was a minute ago?

She touched his cheek, smiling. "You're still unbelievably cute, right?" He blushed, looking at the floor, peeking at her through his lashes.

"That's a matter of opinion."

She sighed. Her Cas was still there. He was still there…

"So…what now?"

Castiel wrapped his arms around her. "Can we do this?"

* * *

"We…we're leaving?" He said in a small voice.

"Well I doubt the end of the world's gonna happen in Queens, Cas," Dean said, tossing clothes into his duffel.

"But…I…" He looked at the floor. "I wish you would've told me earlier." Dean frowned and smacked Sam in the back of the head.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"I told you to tell him!"

"No, I told _you_ to tell him!"

"Oh, yeah right, you- Where'd he go?" The brothers turned and looked at the empty space that had once been Castiel.

"Man, I liked it better when he couldn't do that. Now he's gonna pop up while I'm in the shower-"

"He came in while you were in the shower?" Sam asked, trying not to laugh. Dean shuddered.

"No. I read it in one of those psychotic fanfictions." He shivered again. "I couldn't eat for three days." Sam grimaced.

"Gross."

"You think that's gross," Dean snorted. "You should see the stuff with you and Gabriel," he grinned, stepping toward the bathroom.

"WHAT?" Sam bellowed. Dean giggled and shut the door. "I'm gonna be sick…"

* * *

"Cas, don't do that!" Annabelle exclaimed, hand over her chest.

"Sorry," he mumbled. She frowned, setting down the bowl of chips on the counter.

"Honey, what's wrong?" She asked. He looked up at her sadly, the sight of his eyes swimming hurting her heart. "Cas," she went to him, cradling his face. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I…we…Sam and Dean are leaving," he said softly. "And…and that means I have to go too." Her heart sank with her stomach. She didn't want him to go…

"But, can't you, why?" She stammered. He pursed his lips.

"Because, they need me," he said truthfully. She bit her lip.

"Can't I go with you?" She knew it would never happen, but she had to try. He took a deep breath, blinking rapidly to hide tears.

"I want you to come with me more than anything in the world. But…but I don't want you to get hurt. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you. You have…you have to stay here." His voice cracked.

She hugged him, tight and close. "You'll come see me, right?"

"Whenever I can," He said immediately. "I promise."

She sniffed, tears seeping into his shirt, clinging to his trench coat for dear life.

"I…Annabelle, I know I haven't known you for very long," he said so softly she could barely tell he was talking. "And Dean said I shouldn't say this because it might scare you. But…I…I love you." She looked up at him, swallowing hard. He was wincing slightly, like he was afraid of her answer.

"I…I think I love you too," she said softly. Castiel smiled a little, blushing. They stood there for a long time, hugging. Castiel absently stroked her hair.

"I'll miss you," he said shakily. She looked up at him again.

"I'll miss you too."

He kissed her gently, sniffling. "You don't have to stay with me," he said, never breaking her gaze. "You don't have to ever see me again if you don't want to."

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because," he swallowed, "I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want you to cry because you miss me."

She kissed him deeply to shut him up.

"I don't want anyone else. I want you, baby." He broke into a huge grin.

"Really?" She nodded.

"I'll call you," he promised, kissing her again. "Everyday. I swear." She smiled.

"Cas, I don't think you're going to lie. Can angels even do that?" She asked. He shook his head.

"I wouldn't have any reason to lie to you anyway," he said honestly. Now she was kissing him. She touched his face and his neck, not wanting him to be more than a few inches away from her.

"I'll see you soon?" She squeaked. He nodded, swallowing hard.

"Soon," he promised. He placed one last, hesitant, soft, chaste kiss on her forehead, and was gone in a flutter.

* * *

"She take it alright?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded solemnly. "Well, at least you got your mojo back, right?" He nodded again.

Sam gave Dean a sideways glance, shrugging with him.

"So, uh, how was it?" He grinned. Sam rolled his eyes and got into the car. Castiel glared at him. Dean waggled his eyebrows.

Castiel held up two fingers. "Do you want problems with your bowel movements again?" He growled. Dean's smirk faded.

"That's what I thought."

"Uh, we're headed to West Virginia. I'll call and give you specifics, okay?" He said warily. Castiel nodded, looking smug.

Dean got into the car with his brother, checking to make sure Cas was gone. Sam was stifling laughter once more.

"Maybe him bein' human wasn't a good thing after all," he grumbled, starting the car and pulling out onto the street.

**THE**

**END**

-Thank you all SOOO much for following this, i love you all. From the readers to the reviewers. There WILL be a sequel to this, just not sure of the title yet. I'll post it on my profile when i find out and it should be up soon. God bless you all!-


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